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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27437128">What we remember from those days</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chevronx/pseuds/chevronx'>chevronx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Minor Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:41:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27437128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chevronx/pseuds/chevronx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeon Wonwoo's life as a normal high school student abruptly changes when he encounters the infamous Lee Seokmin who is a victim of teen dating violence.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Jeon Wonwoo/Lee Seokmin | DK</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I need to tell you beforehand that English is not my first language, therefore the grammar will not be one hundred percent correct. However, I will try my best to make as small mistakes as possible. </p><p>I am nervous as always, but I hope you like this story as much as I do. Feedback is deeply appreciated :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today’s sky is very bright, perhaps because it is July; the peak month of summer. The temperature soars to almost 40 degrees celcius, but Jeon Wonwoo doesn’t mind at all to get out of his cozy apartment to the shopping center downtown.</p><p>Summer has become Wonwoo’s favorite season. It is not a long holiday or fireworks festival that he looks for during the season, but simply because he likes the way the summer breeze combs his hair and warm sunlight that makes his mood somewhat better. Another thing that he likes about summer is that ice cream in any flavor, cold drinks, and watermelon always tastes better during that season.</p><p>He goes to a shopping center, planning to buy a wedding gift for his best friend. He is not the type of person who likes to go to someone's wedding and gives them a present, but the groom is his best friend since they were sophomores at a university. He would be very rude if he doesn't come with empty hands. If he wants to be honest, he prefers visiting quiet and less popular places to enjoy his loneliness, starting from sitting in a secret corner at a public park and reading his books to traveling to remote small towns or villages and enjoying the hospitality of local people.</p><p>Beads of sweat have formed on his forehead and he wipes it nonchalantly with the back of his hand. In his hand is the wedding gift he just bought. It is wrapped nicely with yellow wrapping paper and a cute white bow as an ornament. He took around half an hour before deciding the perfect gift for his best friend. After finishing buying the gift, Wonwoo plans to go to a retail store to buy groceries. After that, he will arrive at his apartment by evening, then will go to a balcony; reading the latest release of National Geographic magazine while sipping his Latte.</p><p>However, the plan never turns into reality. When he walks on the wide pavement at the biggest shopping spot in Seoul, he sees someone familiar standing not far from him.</p><p>He stops short.</p><p>Lee Seokmin is standing in the middle of a pavement with a woman whom he assumes is Seokmin's partner. However, instead of holding hands while walking together heading to a cinema to watch a romantic movie, or doing anything that most couples do in public, he sees the woman throw a tantrum on Seokmin.</p><p>Some people who walk passing them pretend not to notice the unbearable sight and avoid the couple. Some of them give a mocking glance, both men and women, whispering to each other while pointing at Seokmin and giggling. They might think it's funny: a man who has a tall and masculine appearance like Seokmin is being scolded in public by a woman who is smaller and weaker than him.</p><p>The woman repeatedly points to a cup of Starbucks coffee in her hand, complaining that Seokmin should order a non-sugar coffee instead of the opposite. Wonwoo takes a better look at Seokmin's figure. He looks defeated and pathetic, bowing his head deep, listening to every complaint the woman says to him, face and ears turn red in shame.</p><p>Seokmin apologizes and admits his wrongdoing, but the woman ignores the man’s excuse and somehow gets even angrier. She throws the beverage right onto Seokmin’s face and slaps across his face. His body for a moment loses its balance, but he manages not to fall.</p><p>That is when their eyes accidentally meet.</p><p>For a moment, time stops. Wonwoo cannot feel anything, neither a tingling sensation at the back of his neck because of sunlight nor the light brush on his shoulders from people who walk past him.</p><p>Forgotten memories suddenly fill Wonwoo’s head.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It is summer. </p><p>Second-year high school student Wonwoo wipes beads of sweat from the back of his neck.</p><p>He hates summer.</p><p>What can be worse than feeling a sting of heat from sunlight burning your skin, or sweat forming on your back, making your shirt wet and stick onto your skin? He scoffs, fanning his face with his hand. </p><p>“Stop doing that. You look ridiculous,” Jihoon sneers looking at Wonwoo’s futile effort to keep the temperature around his face cool. Wonwoo doesn't mind the smaller man’s complaint. He is not a sensitive person and, basically, Jihoon is always easily irritated by everything. </p><p>“Is the air conditioner broken? It is still hot here,” Wonwoo ignores Jihoon’s remark and keeps fanning his face with his hand. One drop of fat sweat rolls from his forehead to his temple. He wipes it with the back of his hand once it reaches the tip of his chin. </p><p>“Seriously?” Jihoon says surprised. “We are inside a restaurant with all air conditioners functioning properly and you’re still feeling hot?”</p><p>Soonyoung, his other friend who sits beside Wonwoo, bursts out laughing. His small, tiger-like pair of eyes squint in joy. “Relax, Jihoon. Wonwoo is an exceptional human being!”</p><p>“Look who's talking, my best friend Soonyoung who knows me so well.” Wonwoo throws his arm on Soonyoung. The other man grins in satisfaction. Jihoon rolls his eyes at both men’s skinship. He hates being touched or being hugged by anyone. Both Sooyoung and Wonwoo know the fact, but as long as they don't excessively touch or hug Jihoon, they will be saved from his tantrum.</p><p>“Yeah, I bet you need someone to pour iced water on your face,” Jihoon jeers, half kidding while slurping his strawberry smoothie.</p><p>“I kind of like the idea,” Soonyoung says with his usual mischievous grin while looking at the curious Wonwoo. He takes the nearest iced tea on the table and teasingly tries to pour the content on Wonwoo’s face. This time, Jihoon laughs and so does Wonwoo.</p><p>At the same time, the sound of someone splashes a drink breaks the goofy atmosphere among the three. They, as well as all customers in the restaurant, turn their heads to the source of the sound.</p><p>The sound comes from a couple sitting not far from Wonwoo’s desk. He just realized that the couple has been sitting there before he, Jihoon, and Soonyoung arrived.</p><p>An intense atmosphere cloaks the couple as the young man keeps his head down while wiping drops of iced tea collected on his chin. His hair and the top part of his shirt uniform is drenched. Wonwoo can't see the man’s expression because he sits with his back against him, but just from his body gesture, Wonwoo assumes that he silently accepts what his partner just did to him. The female, who sits across the man, crosses her arms on her chest. She looks incredibly angry, but Wonwoo can catch a glimpse of a smirk of satisfaction formed at the corner of her lips. She enjoys bullying him. </p><p>Wonwoo hates to hear someone throwing a tantrum, particularly when the partner withdraws in silence. His eyebrows furrow when the female becomes more aggressive by hitting the man's head hard with her purse several times. It is an incredibly shameful experience for the young man if he has pride left after being hit like that in public. As he looks at his surroundings, most of the people just pretend not to see or hear anything, whispering to each other.</p><p>“I know he is known as a stupid guy who falls in love with a violent girl, but I can’t believe that I just see them right in front of my eyes,” Jihoon complains, breaking the silence on the group, turning his head back nonchalantly.</p><p>Wonwoo’s ears perk after hearing Jihoon’s complaint, “Do you know them?”</p><p>Soonyoung, who was so curious about what was happening on his back and even turned and raised his whole body to watch the scene from the sofa, returns to his position, and faces Wonwoo, ”At least we know the guy. He is Lee Seokmin, the first-year student in our school. He is infamous for dating an overly possessive and violent girl,” he says while eating his fried fries.</p><p>“So he is our junior?” Wonwoo asks in disbelief and Soonyoung responds to the question with a deep frown, “Technically, yeah. Wait, you didn’t know?”</p><p>Wonwoo shrugs. Despite befriending the gossiper Soonyoung and Jihoon who have a wide social network and part of the famous school baseball team, he is more of the nonchalant and reserved one. Rather than listening to people tattling to each other, he prefers to engage in reading books or listening to his favorite music. He doesn’t quite understand why they have become friends in the first place, considering their opposite personalities, but he assumes it started when both of them asked him to teach them prior to the English literature exam and he was willing to help. Thanks to Wonwoo's knowledge and patience, both Soonyoung and Jihoon passed the test. They have been friends since then.</p><p>“Well, it can’t be helped. He is the one who causes his own suffering,” Soonyoung says airly while checking on his smartphone. Wonwoo is a type who avoids arguments, so he pretends to agree with Soonyoung’s opinion. He eats his hamburger silently. He loves hamburgers, but somehow he loses his appetite. He peeks at his two friends and they seem to be losing their interest to chat or throw disses at each other. Wonwoo thinks maybe they feel guilty for not helping the poor Seokmin?</p><p>“Hey, Netflix has released a new documentary series today! Should we watch it at my house? We can watch it together while eating pizza,” Soonyoung chirps, breaking the awkward tension. Jihoon takes it as a chance to leave the restaurant. His expression tells him that he really wants to get out of the place.</p><p>“That sounds fun. Should we go now?” Without affirming other boys’ answers, Jihoon busies himself with his wallet, counting the cost for food and beverages he consumed and putting the money at the middle of the table. Just as obedient as he is, Wonwoo slings his backpack on his shoulder and collects the money from the three of them and ready to go to the cashier counter when Seokmin is standing beside their table. </p><p>“Hey,” the young man greets them casually, although Wonwoo can sense that he is very nervous, “You are from N high school, aren't you?”</p><p>It is the first time for Wonwoo to see Seokmin up-close. The boy, who surprisingly has an ideal proportion of height and weight, slightly bows his head. He awkwardly rubs the nape of his neck because he just greeted his seniors whom he doesn't really close with. Despite being nervous and looking like a mess, he still can put on a genuine bright smile, showing off his neat white teeth and pink healthy gums. As he smiles, his almond-shaped eyes automatically transform into a thin crescent moon-shaped with additional wrinkles on the edges. Wonwoo notes how unfairly gorgeous the man is despite his damp hair and an ugly tea stain on his uniform. He believes Woozi and Soonyoung do think the same. </p><p>“Uh… yeah,” Soonyoung answers.</p><p>Seokmin smiles incredibly wide, “We are from the same school! I’m Lee Seokmin from the first grade.”</p><p>Jihoon glances to Wonwoo and Soonyoung, “Yeah… we know you, actually.”</p><p>Seokmin’s face brightens almost immediately, “Oh, really? Am I that famous?”</p><p>Since the three of them don’t know how to respond to the ironic question, Seokmin continues, “I’m sorry if I'm being rude, but may I ask you a favor? My girlfriend just left without paying for her drink and I only brought a small amount of money to pay for our meals. If you have extra cash, can I borrow your money to pay the rest of the bill?”</p><p>Soonyoung slightly pokes Jihoon’s ribs with his elbow, asking Jihoon to respond to Seokmin’s request. </p><p>“Actually we don't bring more cash either and… we are going to leave now. Sorry,” Jihoon says, giving a forced smile. He and Soonyoung avoid the troubled young man by lying and Wonwoo frankly doesn’t like that. </p><p>Hearing the answer, a hint of sadness appears on Seokmin's face. He looks trying so hard to hold back his frustration to the point where Wonwoo feels sympathy towards Seokmin. </p><p>He gives an apologetic smile, “I see. It's okay, sorry for asking.”</p><p>“I do have more cash, if you want,” Wonwoo suddenly volunteers to help. Both Jihoon and Soonyoung give him a surprised look. Even Soonyoung cannot hide his surprise, mouth hanging open.</p><p>“You do?” Soonyoung asks hysterically.</p><p>“I do,” Wonwoo glares at Soonyoung for being such a jerk.</p><p>Seokmin's eyes suddenly begin to sparkle while looking at Wonwoo. He quickly transforms from a beaten dog into a happy puppy. Wonwoo finds it adorably cute, “You do? Is it okay for me to borrow it?”</p><p>Wonwoo nods while rummaging his bag to find his wallet, “It's okay,” he says it short. Wonwoo then hands on the money that Seokmin needs. </p><p>“Thank you so much...um, what’s your name?” Seokmin looks directly at him with eagerness and concern for being rude because he doesn't ask Wonwoo’s name beforehand. </p><p>“It is Wonwoo,” Wonwoo says while noting how cute Seokmin is when he is happy, especially his dilated pupils.</p><p>“Wonwoo-Hyung,” Seokmin pronounces his name and Wonwoo likes how the man’s shapely lips move to pronounce his name, “thank you, Wonwoo-Hyung. I promise I'll return the money.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” Wonwoo gives a warm smile. He doesn't know why he acts so nice with a person he just met, considering how he doesn't like friendly strangers.</p><p>When Seokmin runs to the cashier to pay the bill, Soonyoung looks at Wonwoo in disbelief. He looks pissed, but curious at the same time, "Are you playing the hero right now?"</p><p>Wonwoo gives Soonyoung a look, "Is it wrong to help our junior when they're in trouble?"</p><p>"But <em>this </em>junior is Lee Seokmin," Jihoon points out.</p><p>Wonwoo frowns, "So?"</p><p>"If I were you, I wouldn't help him. I don't want to affiliate myself with a weak boy who can't stand up against a girl," Jihoon makes a clear statement that he doesn't like Seokmin already and does not want to befriend him.</p><p>"What's with the hypermasculine attitude? I remember that yesterday you tried to act cute in front of your girlfriend because you forgot her birthday,” Wonwoo says, sending Jihoon’s cheeks turning instant red. Soonyoung tries to refrain his laughter after Jihoon sends him the murderous glare. Everyone knows that Jihoon despises acting cute.</p><p>“It’s a special occasion only. She said that she would forgive me if I acted cutely,” Jihoon tries to defend himself.</p><p>“Well, that does not make you much different from him,” Woonwo pats Woozi’s shoulder and smiles.</p><p>After Seokmin pays his bill, Wonwoo invites him to sit with them (in which he receives a betrayed look from Soonyoung and Jihoon. “We’re supposed to watch a Netflix series right now,” Jihoon says. Wonwoo then tells them to go to watch Netflix together without him, but in the end, both of them end up accompanying Seokmin for a bit longer). Seokmin sits at a vacant seat beside Soonyoung, across Wonwoo.</p><p>It turns out that Seokmin is not as bad as people often portray him. Seokmin who sits with them is a playful and funny boy. He looks like an ordinary high school student, except for his capability of making nice conversation and high-quality jokes to someone he just met. He also surprisingly has a broad knowledge of baseball and many other subjects. He even said that he watched Jihoon and Soonyoung’s performance at the national high school baseball championship. Jihoon and Soonyoung, who previously ignored Seokmin, start to take an interest in him, even chatting and laughing with him too. Suddenly, Seokmin becomes their new best friend. If Seokmin doesn't have a bad reputation for being a hopeless romantic to his abusive girlfriend, he will be extremely popular for a good reason.</p><p>The conversation goes smoothly and entertaining until Seokmin raises his right hand, accidentally revealing new scratches on his upper arm. Although it is a minor injury, the wound looks deep and fresh. </p><p>“What is that?” Wonwoo asks.</p><p>“Oh, this?” he says sheepishly, “She asked me to buy her new clothes, but since I didn’t bring extra money, she became angry.”</p><p>“And you are okay with that?” Soonyoung asks after hissing in pain as if he can feel how painful it is.</p><p>Seokmin shakes his head and smiles, “She can be a little rough sometimes, but she didn’t mean to hurt me. She even immediately apologized after the incident.”</p><p>“Regardless of whether she did that on purpose or not, have you treated the scratches? They look swollen,” Jihoon asks, surprisingly concerned with Seokmin’s condition.</p><p>“It is not a serious wound. It will heal in no time,” Seokmin smiles. His expression and attitude are more like a little boy who gets injured during a soccer practice at school as if the horrible scratches on his upper arm are mere wounds from tripping to the ground.</p><p>Wonwoo, Jihoon, and Soonyoung are speechless, thinking either Soekmin is dumb or just painfully kind.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seokmin is sitting on a bench under a tree at a remote corner of the school, listening to music from his iPod through a pair of white earphones. He mouths the lyrics and sings quietly, unaware that Wonwoo watches him from his back for a couple of minutes. He doesn’t know the song, but it’s an upbeat song about boys spending time together in summer: driving into the morning light, getting tattoos, and spending time in Mexico. Listening to it, Wonwoo begins to think that many fun things can actually be done during that season, especially doing it together with Seokmin. They can skip classes, go somewhere only they know, and buy matching items such as embroidery bracelets.</p><p>Apart from Seokmin's surprisingly beautiful voice, every little thing about Seokmin is gorgeous. His bleached chestnut hair looks healthy and shines beautifully; his body is bulky and fit compared to Wonwoo’s slim body even though he is slightly taller than Seokmin.</p><p>After exchanging phone numbers and texting, they have decided to meet after Seokmin’s PE class as the latter promised him to return the money. Hence, no wonder he is still in his gym uniform: a white t-shirt and a pair of blue shorts. His eyes land on Seokmin’s muscular thighs with faint tan lines, the part Wonwoo can't take his eyes off for a while. His eyes then move to beads of sweat on Seokmin’s temple that glisten under the light. He usually dislikes seeing someone covered in sweat, but somehow, he cannot turn his gaze from it. It glistens so beautifully, like morning dews on the tip of grasses.</p><p>Wonwoo taps Seokmin's shoulder lightly. Seokmin's body jerks a little. He pulls out the earphones from his ears and turns his body. His eyes meet Wonwoo’s smiling face.</p><p>“Did you wait long?”</p><p>Seokmin returns the smile with his usual bright one, “Oh, not really. The class has just finished!” Seokmin’s big smile makes Wonwoo’s body feel warm in a comforting way. He quickly sits beside Seokmin.</p><p>“Oh, right, I kept my promise,” Seokmin rummages his PE shorts pocket and proffers an amount of money he lent before from Wonwoo. Wonwoo notices how pretty Seokmin’s long, bony fingers are. He is confused as to why he adores every little thing about Seokmin.</p><p>“Thanks, I need cash to buy ice cream. Too bad they don't sell it at the cafeteria,” Wonwoo blurts out. He is actually not craving ice cream at the moment, but it is the only thing he can say to keep him together with Seokmin a little bit longer.</p><p>“I just thought the same thing. Today's temperature is very hot and I want to eat something sweet and cold,” Seokmin looks surprised and excited at the same time. </p><p>“How about we go to the nearest convenience store after school and buy ice cream together?” Wonwoo suggests and gives a playful wink but with his cool smile. The contrast makes Seokmin laugh. </p><p>“That sounds fun,” Seokmin responds enthusiastically. Therefore, they have another meeting at the school gate after the class ends. Soonyoung and Jihoon ask Wonwoo to hang out at a game arcade, but since he already has an appointment with Seokmin, he excuses himself.</p><p>In the afternoon after school, they go to the nearest convenience store and buy ice creams, huge amounts of snacks, and two bottles of lemon soda. After that, they sit on a bench at a nearby park.</p><p>For almost 20 minutes straight, Seokmin cannot stop talking. He narrates literally everything he sees and experiences today, from his lazy dog which didn't want to be dragged for a morning jog to the delicious bacon he ate during breakfast. Despite not having one single friend because of his trademark of a man with a lack of machismo, Seokmin is a carefree guy. He doesn't seem to care about what people think of him, or that is what Wonwoo thinks. </p><p>Wonwoo is amused with Seokmin’s chatter, but mostly he focuses on Seokmin’s cheerful expression narrating all of his stories. He nods eagerly just to encourage Seokmin to keep talking while eating his ice cream. Wonwoo thinks he can stay like this forever when suddenly Seokmin’s phone rings.</p><p>Seokmin says that her girlfriend is calling him. He sends an apologetic smile before answering the call. Wonwoo cannot hear what the girl says to Seokmin, but he can sense that his girlfriend is demanding Seokmin to do something for her. </p><p>“She just asked me to buy her a cheesecake,” Seokmin says after the phone ends, thinking where he should buy the cake. He searches the nearest cake stores from his phone.</p><p>“When?” Wonwoo asks.</p><p>“Right now,” Seokmin answers, still with his eyes glued to his phone. “Um… the nearest cake store is quite far from here… I don’t know if I can buy and deliver the cake on time…," knowing the fact, Seokmin's face creased in worry.</p><p>Seokmin’s frown makes Wonwoo feel pity over the man. He suddenly has an unexplainable urge to make Seokmin happy again. </p><p>“I have a bicycle. We can go there together to buy your girlfriend a cheesecake and deliver it to her on time.”</p><p>Seokmin looks surprised and confused, “But is it forbidden to ride tandem on a single-seater bicycle? We will get fined.”</p><p>“No, we won’t, if we don't get caught,” Wonwoo says in confidence, ending Seokmin’s argument. He is not stupid not to know that they will be undoubtedly get fined if police officers see two boys sharing a bicycle. He is not a delinquent and he prefers to avoid troubles with the police, but he chooses to ignore all the facts as long as he can help Seokmin and makes him smile again. He then goes to his bicycle with Seokmin following him from behind. Wonwoo takes the liberty to drive, while Seokmin sits on a seat behind Wonwoo. When Wonwoo puts his right feet on a pedal, Seokmin hesitantly puts both his hands on Wonwoo's shoulders.</p><p>"I don't know where to hold," Seokmin says sheepishly, cheeks turning red, making Wonwoo tries so hard not to pinch Seokmin's nose or ruffle his thick hair because he looks so <em>cute. </em></p><p>When Wonwoo doesn’t reciprocate and gives a long stare at Seokmin's face, the latter becomes somewhat nervous. He clears his throat and averts his gaze from Wonwoo's attractive eyes. Even a pair of glasses cannot hide Wonwoo's gorgeous eyes that always look at him with adoration, "I'll just hold onto your backpack then."</p><p>"No, it's fine," Wonwoo makes a quick assurance.</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"I said it's fine," Wonwoo turns his head to the street and gently takes off, hoping that Seokmin doesn’t see his blushing face. Seokmin has no choice but to hold onto Wonwoo's shoulders or else he would fall. He murmurs thanks to Wonwoo and gently squeezes Wonwoo's shoulders. Seokmin's hands feel warm on his shoulders, so does his body, as if his whole body radiates the warmth of the sun. Riding a bicycle with Seokmin makes his body feel a loving warmth and he doesn't hate it at all. He likes it very much.</p><p>Once they arrive at the cake shop, Wonwoo helps Seokmin pick a perfect cake for Seokmin's girlfriend. He chooses a cheesecake at an affordable price but has a pretty garnish. He knows Seokmin's girlfriend doesn't really want to eat cheesecake. Her goal for requesting that to Seokmin is that she wants to show off how lucky she is to have an obedient boyfriend by showing the cake to her friends. She will not care about the taste.</p><p>After Seokmin buys the cake, Wonwoo rides the bicycle while Seokmin navigates him towards his girlfriend's high school. His legs feel burned and sore because he pedals for quite a long time. Seokmin notices and asks whether he can switch the position. Wonwoo refuses. He was the one who suggested accompanying Seokmin and not the other way around. Hearing Wonwoo's objection, Seokmin just succumbs to his seat, hands still linger on Wonwoo's shoulders.</p><p>"Thank you, Wonwoo-Hyung," Seokmin says when finally, they arrive at the destination. Wonwoo smiles when Seokmin literally jumps off of his seat and runs across a small intersection towards her girlfriend who stands at the front gate with her friends.</p><p>Wonwoo decides to look from afar, thinking that everything will go smoothly because they don't take too much time between buying the cake and delivering it to the girl. As a result of pedaling his bicycle like a mad man, he is now sweating like crazy. He is struggling to control his breath. His legs are trembling from sudden heavy exercise.</p><p>He hates summer. No, he despises it. Let alone doing vigorous activities under a bright, burning sun. However, when Seokmin runs towards him with his radiant smile then hugs him in delight because his girlfriend accepts his cake without complaining, Wonwoo thinks everything he did for the younger man is worth it.</p><p>The way Seokmin’s lips lift upward. The way his chin dimples crinkle. The way his teeth are perfectly aligned. His smile is a ray of sunshine, and Wonwoo is a sunburn.</p><p>Suddenly, the song that Seokmin sang earlier plays in his ears, and imaginary moments of him and Seokmin doing things together flash before his eyes: They skip classes, then go somewhere only they know, and buy matching embroidery bracelets.</p><p>
  <em> Come on, come on, driving into the morning light </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Come on, come on, let the world just pass us by </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Come on, come on, get tattoos who knows we might </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Just waste away the daylight </em>
</p><p>At that moment, Wonwoo just realized that he is deeply in love with Seokmin.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The lyrics are from <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/0DtBLzMEDG3xWgr516VOM3?si=1J3ByhW6SKykw7NNNGGQQQ"><i>come on come on</i> by almost monday</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Wonwoo sees an ugly purple bruise on Seokmin’s left eye, he knows he has to do something. </p><p>Seokmin’s girlfriend is violent, but she never hit Seokmin’s face. This is the first time the girl leaves injury on his face and Wonwoo is sure that the cycle of abuse will repeat and continue to get worse. Seokmin repeatedly says to Wonwoo that he is okay, that it doesn’t feel hurt anymore. Wonwoo is sick of it. He is tired of always looking at Seokmin who always smiles and forgives.</p><p>“This is my first relationship,” Seokmin says somberly when Wonwoo applies a sterile eye pad to cover Seokmin’s swollen eye during a break at an area near an abandoned school bathroom. Wonwoo can see clearly that there is a large amount of blood in the white part of Seokmin's eye and it is very painful to see it. The eye pad will not make the injury heal faster, but it should be enough to make Seokmin not become the center of attention in school.</p><p>Before wearing it, students look at him in curiosity and pity, but no one approaches him to ask if he is okay, let alone offering help. The teachers are not that helpful either. They just think that Seokmin got in a fight with other boys and got himself injured. This reality angers Wonwoo more than anything.</p><p>“She's your first girlfriend?” Wonwoo asks gently.</p><p>Seokmin nods, giving a weak smile, “Everything was… great… She always said what a good boyfriend I was, that we were complementing each other. My friends liked her too, saying that she’s really stunning. I felt very happy and proud, thinking I was lucky and worthy enough for dating this girl. I mean… she is very popular among boys at her school and she could date other boys who were smarter, richer, or more gorgeous than me, but she chose to be with me. I am an epitome of an average boy, I never get good grades in class, I am not rich, and I don’t look better than her previous boyfriends.”</p><p><em> That’s not true</em>, Wonwoo screams inside. Seokmin is not good at math, but he always tries his best to get good grades in other subjects. He is also very selfless and kind to others. On top of that, Seokmin is the most gorgeous person he has ever known. Seokmin may not realize how handsome he is, but Wonwoo really adores Seokmin’s soft eyes, sharp-edged nose, high cheekbones, and shapely lips. No one has ever made him this crazy over someone other than Seokmin. </p><p>Seokmin ducks his head down, looking at his shoes. He looks hesitant to continue his story, biting his lower lip. Wonwoo encourages Seokmin to continue his story by sitting closer to Seokmin, silently saying to the latter man that he is listening and will not judge him for whatever he is going to say next. Wonwoo’s affectionate action gives Seokmin encouragement to continue.</p><p>“But then something happened, didn't it?” Wonwoo asks.</p><p>Seokmin nods, “The first time it happened was after we had been dating for two months. She sulked because I refused to carry her bag. It’s not that I did not want to do it. My hands were already full of her shopping bags and I couldn’t hold any more bags in my hands. She then said that I was not a good boyfriend, calling me with derogatory names. I got slugged in the face in front of my friends and her friends. I was baffled. I have never experienced that shameful experience before.”</p><p>Wonwoo imagines how awful it is to be publicly humiliated. Any man who experiences it must be very confused and ashamed. He begins to think that maybe Seokmin’s girlfriend takes advantage of Seokmin’s kindness and selfless nature, messing him up for boosting her ego and creating her image as a strong girl who can make a man like Soekmin become hopeless. That kind of relationship is not healthy at all and Wonwoo believes that Seokmin realizes it too.</p><p>“What did you do after that?”</p><p>“I didn’t accept what she did to me, so I told her that she was rude and she shouldn't hit my head like that in public,” Seokmin says, “but then my friends and her friends looked at me with the judgemental looks. One of my friends even told me that I shouldn’t say that to a girl, that what I previously did was totally rude and inappropriate. I was so confused by my friend’s reaction."</p><p>Wonwoo doesn't recall that Seokmin has friends. He always goes around school alone. It is not that he is a public enemy, more of him being notorious for getting beaten by a girl. No one wants to affiliate themselves as a "weak" guy, therefore they prefer to avoid Seokmin and only talk to him if they really need something.</p><p>Wonwoo sighs in frustration. What's with the double standard in society nowadays? People push men to be strong, tough, and aggressive, but they don't allow men to defend themselves when they are violated by women. This standard has made Seokmin suffer. Those people have made Seokmin afraid to ask for help. </p><p>"So, what happened next?" Wonwoo encourages Seokmin to continue his story.</p><p>"Since then, I don’t argue when she belittles me. I always remind myself to be a good boyfriend who always accommodates my girlfriend’s wishes, that I love her, that she loves me... but when she punched my eye yesterday and called me an unworthy piece of shit, I doubt whether she really loves me.”</p><p>Seokmin looks trying so hard to stay calm and composed, but his lips are starting to quiver and his eyes are looking watery. Finally, Seokmin cries in a painful silent sob with hot tears roll down his cheeks. He keeps his mouth shut to hold any whimpers out of his mouth. It’s painful to see the man’s hunched body, struggling to hold back his tears but failing miserably due to frustration and sadness that has been bottled up for a long time. </p><p>It must be very exhausting for Seokmin to pretend to be strong the whole time. He also has no one to talk to. That is when Wonwoo hugs the poor soul, gently stroking and petting Seokmin’s back. Seokmin’s sobs are stifled at first, but when his face is secured on Wonwoo’s shoulder, he breaks down. His loose shoulders shakes, his hands hung low, making no attempt to conceal or wipe away his own tears. </p><p>It doesn't take long as finally, Seokmin calms down.</p><p>“Sorry, I usually don't cry in front of people like this. I must look stupid,” he laughs a little after pouring his tears.</p><p>“No, you look fine,” says Wonwoo. He does mean to cheer him up, but he really thinks Seokmin looks very fine even when he cries. He really holds himself to not wipe the tears away from Seokmin’s cheeks, “And it’s okay for men to cry, Seokmin. You don’t have to be shy.”</p><p>“Thank you, Wonwoo-Hyung,” Soekmin finally smiles again. His right eye is still red and puffy from crying, however, his expression reveals the usual cheerful Seokmin that Wonwoo knows, “I was afraid that you would be judgemental when I told you about it.”</p><p>“Of course not,” Wonwoo reassures, “Admitting that you are in an unhealthy relationship is already a big step for you.”</p><p>“Really? You don’t think that I am weak and a coward?” Seokmin’s tone sounds surprised and curious.</p><p>“Why do you think so?”</p><p>Seokmin looks so deep in his thoughts, he even doesn’t realize that Wonwoo tries to fix his messy hair from crying, “Because all of my friends left me once they knew that I couldn't even stand up against my girlfriend when I was being scolded or beaten. They thought I am not cool enough to hang out with them anymore.”</p><p>Seokmin, who is sitting next to him, looks vulnerable, as if Wonwoo tells one word that is disheartening, he will break apart. He is willing to show his vulnerable side to Wonwoo and he is determined not to disappoint him.</p><p>"Can I hug you again, Hyung?” Seokmin requests shyly with an imploring look, “I feel comfortable when I hug you.” </p><p>Wonwoo cannot say no to that. He nods with arms wide open.</p><p>Seokmin then hugs Wonwoo’s body gently and softly, the body movement that represents his personality: a very gentle and soft young man who is too pure for this world. He puts his chin on Wonwoo’s shoulder and sighs in comfort and content. Although Seokmin’s body is bigger than Wonwoo’s, somehow, he still looks frail and needs someone to care for and protect him from any harm. </p><p>“I am glad that I met you, Wonwoo-Hyung. I really am,” Seokmin’s whisper resembles every serene nature sound he has ever heard: water babbling down a stream or leaves rustling in the wind. It is very beautiful, sincere, and rewarding. </p><p>Wonwoo chuckles when the hug ends, "You can also talk to Jihoon and Soonyoung about your problem too.”</p><p>“I know,” Seokmin mumbles, “but somehow I really trust you, because you’re so nice, you always listen to my problems, and you’re not judgemental like everyone else.”</p><p>The wind suddenly blows and a leaf lands on Wonwoo’s hair.</p><p>“There’s a leaf on your hair,” Seokmin points out.</p><p>"Where?" Wonwoo tries to pick the leaf and shakes his head but to no avail.</p><p>"Let me help," then Seokmin’s slender fingers reach the leaf and he shows it to Wonwoo. It makes their eyes meet, and they just realized that their faces are so close even Wonwoo can count Seokmin’s eyelashes and see a microscopic mole on Seokmin’s left cheek. For a moment, they stay that way until Seokmin smiles awkwardly and sits a bit further from Wonwoo, his cheeks blush scarlet.</p><p>When Jihoon and Soonyoung join them a moment later, Wonwoo looks at Seokmin and smiles. The younger man returns it with a shy smile as if he has done something embarrassing. He is also not very talkative as usual; he’s preoccupied with his own thoughts while once in a while stealing a glance at Wonwoo when the older man is talking with others.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seokmin decides to break up with his girlfriend.</p><p>Since then, Seokmin starts to live his life. The bruise around his eye has completely disappeared. He looks healthier, more fulfilled, and happier each day. He then starts to hang out with Wonwoo, Jihoon, and Soonyoung, but he spends more of his time with Wonwoo.</p><p>Wonwoo starts to notice that Seokmin loves hanging around him more than usual. He frequently asks Wonwoo about his daily schedule or plans and accompanies him every time Wonwoo wants to do any activities or go to any places. When Wonwoo wants to read a book at a public library on the weekend, Seokmin eagerly accompanies him there, even though Wonwoo knows that Seokmin doesn’t like reading books that much. In the library, Seokmin only reads less than twenty minutes and starts to do anything other than reading books, from watching people pass by from the window to listening to music through his earphone.</p><p>After reading at a library (with Seokmin sleeping on the table), they go to the nearest Chinese restaurant for lunch. Seokmin doesn’t really pay attention to his meal. Instead, he shamelessly looking straight at Wonwoo's face for a time and suddenly says, “You look so handsome, Wonwoo-Hyung.”</p><p>Seokmin says out of the blue, making Wonwoo nearly chokes on his drink when hearing Seokmin’s sudden comment.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Seokmin leans on a table, head resting on his hands while looking at Wonwoo. His eyes sparkle, “You look so good-looking, and you’re gentle and kind. On top of that, you are very smart too.”</p><p>Wonwoo blinks. Is that what he looks like in the eyes of Seokmin? He sounds so perfect.</p><p>He used to not care about what other people think about him, let alone about his looks, but after meeting Seokmin, he now puts extra attention to his appearance. Usually, he just puts a simple T-shirt under his black leather jacket with dark blue jeans, but now he takes a long time to pick better clothes to wear. He feels so stupid and irrational, but he is so deeply in love and he doesn’t know how to stop acting like an idiot.</p><p>"And your voice...," Seokmin says in a borderline whisper.</p><p>"My voice?"</p><p>Seokmin gives him a shy smile, "Your voice is so deep. It's so attractive."</p><p>Did Seokmin say that he is attractive?</p><p>“What a compliment from a gentleman like you. I am flattered,” Wonwoo simply smiles, contrasting to his fast-beating heart because of Seokmin’s burning gaze.</p><p>“Do you ever have a girlfriend, Hyung?” Seokmin sounds curious.</p><p>“Not every good-looking man wants to have a girlfriend.”</p><p>“So, it’s not your thing? Having a relationship, I mean.”</p><p>“What’s with the question?” Wonwoo chuckles, “Are you playing a match-marker?”</p><p>Seokmin laughs, “No, more like wondering whether you aspire to be a priest once you graduate.”</p><p>Wonwoo laughs even harder. Some people sitting nearby look at them, both amused and annoyed. Seokmin bows his head while giggling, apologizing on behalf of Wonwoo’s reaction.</p><p>“Why do you think I am suitable to be a priest?”</p><p>Seokmin playfully shrugs, “I don’t know, but you have this kind of calming aura near you. It makes me want to confess all of my sins.”</p><p>“Really? What is your confession?”</p><p>Seokmin’s expression tells Wonwoo that he wants to say something. Something secretive. He looks hesitant, the tips of his ears tint with red.</p><p>“Well… since you are not a priest yet, I won’t tell,” he grins and continues eating his Wenchang chicken.</p><p>Wonwoo frowns. <em> What was that? </em></p><p> </p><p>It’s July already and the first semester of their school period ends. It is also the month that marks the long summer vacation. </p><p>Wonwoo, Soonyoung, and Jihoon will enter their third year soon, when they should focus on studying for a university entrance exam, so they want to spend their vacation to the utmost. In the end, Soonyoung suggests going to camp on a beach. He knows a perfect beach where no one knows but has good supporting facilities and easy access. Wonwoo and Jihoon put their trust in Soonyoung when it comes to arranging activities, particularly holiday activities. Wonwoo asks whether he can bring Seokmin along, both Soonyoung and Jihoon accept the suggestion enthusiastically. The more the merrier, they said. </p><p>Seokmin joins their summer holiday together, arriving at the meeting spot at the bus station, wearing a sleeveless white shirt, blue denim shorts, a pair of Reebok classic white shoes, and a backpack full of snacks. Seokmin looks super excited, saying that he has never been camping before and is anticipating building sandcastles when they arrive. Soonyoung feels happy when finally, he finds someone who is as excited as him to build sandcastles.</p><p>“Wonwoo-Hyung, don’t you feel hot without a hat?” Seokmin asks approaching Wonwoo when he sees him standing under the sun without any protection on his head.</p><p>“I forgot to bring it,” Wonwoo says in honesty. He feels weird because he used to always go out of his house without holding an umbrella or wearing a hat during summer. Wonwoo realized that he is drenched in sweat, but he doesn’t mind.</p><p>“Use mine,” Seokmin puts his baseball cap on top of Wonwoo’s head and grins, then compliments Wonwoo’s facial feature that looks even better when wearing a hat.</p><p>“What about you?”</p><p>Seokmin waves his hand airily, “I used to play soccer outdoors when I was a kid so don’t mind me.” His gaze stays a little bit longer on Wonwoo’s face as if Seokmin adores Wonwoo’s appearance a little more than usual. Wonwoo tries not to look nervous. His face feels very warm.</p><p>Minutes later, Jihoon announces that the bus they are waiting for has arrived. They together ride a bus heading to the beach on the outskirts of the city. The trip takes almost four hours and they have to pass two bus transits and walk for around ten minutes to reach the beach. When they arrive, all of them gasp in adornment to see the pristine beach. The sand is softly golden with just the right comforting warmth.</p><p>They don’t waste time building two tents, put all their belongings inside it, and jump into the seashore wearing only swimming shorts. When Jihoon finds a small cliff, they take turns to jump from the cliff, screaming gibberish words before their bodies plunge into the limpid blue-green water. Wonwoo feels very comfortable watching the other three swimming and climbing to the cliff like excited small boys. He chooses to relax in a hammock that they set earlier with a book in his hand, the sound of the waves makes the day even calmer for him.</p><p>After getting exhausted, the trio gather at a big towel near their tents and eat their watermelons. Wonwoo follows and sits beside Seokmin.</p><p>It is hard not to stare at Seokmin with his summer holiday outfit, and it’s even harder to not look at him in his current state.</p><p>He only wears swimming trunks, exposing his natural, healthy honeyed brown skin and light biceps muscles. Wonwoo wants to run his hands on Seokmin’s body and feels his smooth skin on his fingertips so bad. Seokmin’s smooth lips that glisten with watermelon water stretch wide into an adorable smile when he turns his head to Wonwoo. As Seokmin sits closer to Wonwoo, he can smell the faint scent of sea and sunscreen on Seokmin’s body.</p><p>In the evening, Jihoon and Seokmin have a duty to go to the nearest fisherman's house to buy fresh fish. Meanwhile, Soonyoung and Wonwoo prepare a campfire and skewers so that by then Jihoon and Seokmin arrive, they can just start to grill the fish. It doesn’t take long for Jihoon and Seokmin to come back to the campsite with fresh swordfish and ingredients for seasoning. They spend their night grilling and eating the fish until they cannot eat anymore. They chat, talk about random things, and play games.</p><p>By bedtime, Soonyoung and Jihoon are already tired and sleepy. They enter the first tent and leave Wonwoo and Seokmin together sitting near a campfire. The night brings such a silence that the crackle of the campfire was all that can be heard, like crazy natural music. Seokmin sits close on a mossy log, his face toasted warm and his back cold, mesmerized, relaxed. It is like the fire is charming his gorgeous face even more.</p><p>“Jihoon-Hyung said to me that you’re the one who suggested me to join your vacation,” Seokmin breaks the silence, poking the burned charcoal with a long stick.</p><p>“Hm,” Wonwoo hums affirmatively, “I thought it would be fun for us to have fun memories together.”</p><p>They are silent for a moment. Seokmin looks like he is deep in thought and honestly seeing Seokmin’s serious face is very amusing because somewhat he looks more mature than his actual age.</p><p>“I wonder why you are so nice to me,” Seokmin says in a low voice, almost in a whisper. </p><p>Seokmin’s statement, or rather a question, suddenly catches Wonwoo out off guard.</p><p>He already acknowledges that he might be gay, but he is still not sure. He dated girls before and he sincerely loved them. He also had a crush on a boy from a book club but he only kept that feeling for himself. To be honest, he feels uncomfortable in labeling his sexual orientation. Sexual orientation, after all, is fluid. All he knows is that he loves Seokmin so much, but does Seokmin love him back? Having an idea that Seokmin might only see him as an older brother makes Wonwoo afraid to confess his feelings.</p><p>Seokmin looks at him with a gaze full of curiosity and anticipation. It’s so overwhelming. Wonwoo is deep in his own thought, he doesn’t even realize that Seokmin titles his head closer to his.</p><p>When Seokmin’s lips innocently brush Wonwoo’s, the world falls away. The kiss is slow and soft, comforting, and surprising in ways that words would never be.</p><p>It’s a quick kiss, like a small test. Seokmin pulls his head back and looks at perplexed Wonwoo before ducking his head down and hiding his face in his hands in embarrassment. </p><p>“I think I like you, Hyung.”</p><p>The confession, together with an insecure, shy look from Seokmin make Wonwoo give in to his whim. He doesn’t waste time moving Seokmin's hands and lifting Seokmin's face by the chin to place a kiss on his lips. This time he presses it firmly against Seokmin's soft lips, telling the younger one that he likes him too. He <em> loves </em>him too.</p><p>The kiss turns passionate. Wonwoo pushes Seokmin's body to the white sand while their lips still attach. Wonwoo tries not to act too eager when kissing Seokmin. He is aware that Seokmin never kissed a man before, so he has to be careful to not make Seokmin uncomfortable. He gently grasps Seokmin's wrist while the other hand caresses Seokmin's hair, then to his temple, cheek, neck, and chest. Seokmin moans lightly when Wonwoo gently licks his lower lip.</p><p>The kiss ends when their lungs desperately ask for air. Wonwoo lifts his upper body up a little, using his forearm for support. Seokmin looks so breath-taking. His chestnut hair sprawls on the beach sand, his eyes glimmer from excitement and reflection of fire from the campfire, his lips wet and slightly parted from the kiss.</p><p>"It's so unfair," Seokmin says.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Seokmin chuckles, "You are not only handsome and smart but a good kisser too."</p><p>Wonwoo grins, "Yeah? Was that good?"</p><p>Seokmin nods sheepishly, "I have never been kissed by a boy before. It surprisingly felt good."</p><p>"We can continue in the tent. It’s more private and comfortable," Wonwoo suggests, thinking that he might be too much but he cannot resist kissing Seokmin again, "...if you want to."</p><p>Seokmin props himself up on one elbow. He has never been more gorgeous in Wonwoo's eyes than he is now, eyes dreamy and smiling. He plants a chaste kiss on Wonwoo's lips and smiles, "I'd love to."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The third year of high school begins.</p><p>Wonwoo, as well as Jihoon and Soonyoung, start to study hard for a university entrance exam. Soonyoung complains that he cannot skip class anymore, but the teachers are so boring he always ends up sleeping on his desk. Jihoon, on the other hand, is very focused on his goal to be accepted at Y University. He always pays attention in class and goes to cram school.</p><p>"My mother will cast me away if I don't get accepted at Y University," Jihoon says half-joking during class break, yawning due to lack of sleep. He only sleeps less than six hours per day since they become third-year students.</p><p>"Tiger parenting, I see," Soonyoung stretches his arms, "since my parents own a chicken farm, I am planning to inherit the business and because of that, I am determined to enter G University."</p><p>"So that’s the reason why you don’t skip classes. It is so weird to see you making notes during lecture," Wonwoo teases Soonyoung. </p><p>"Hm, I can be more diligent and smarter than you if I want, because I am a natural genius," Soonyoung grins wide.</p><p>Jihoon mumbles <em>whatever </em>while rolling his eyes. </p><p>"By the way, how about you, Wonwoo? Have you picked the university that you want to apply to?" Soonyoung asks in curiosity. He, who sits in front of Wonwoo, turns his whole body and folds both his hands on Wonwoo's desk.</p><p>"Actually, I have," Wonwoo says. Both of his friends look at him expectantly, "I am planning to enter S University. "</p><p>Soonyoung whistles, "S University in Seoul? Damn… you have guts. You must be studying like crazy!"</p><p>Wonwoo tells them that he has been studying intensely to prepare himself for the entrance exam. He goes to cram school until 10 pm from Sunday to Friday. On the weekends, he also studies in his room, trying to finish as many exercise books as possible with good remarks.</p><p>What he doesn't tell Jihoon and Soonyoung is that he and Seokmin have been dating since the summer holiday at the beach six months ago.</p><p>Since then, they have been very careful. They don't have matching items to wear. When they are together with Jihoon, Soonyoung, or both, they act as casually as possible like platonic best friends. However, when it is only the two of them, they hug, touch, and kiss like there's no tomorrow. Seokmin is the one who pampers him the most. He is always available to accompany him to study in a library or in his bedroom. He is also never absent from picking up Wonwoo after school and makes sure he arrives safely at the cram school before going home. Luckily, Wonwoo joins a different cram school from Jihoon and Soonyoung, so they have chances to hold hands or steal quick kisses when no one is watching during their trip to the place.</p><p>Wonwoo studies in his bedroom with Seokmin accompanying him. He tries to finish an equation in an exercise book while Seokmin reads Wonwoo's magazine.</p><p>“Is that a candy?” Seokmin asks when Wonwoo opens a bag of candies.</p><p>Seokmin recently finds out that Wonwoo has a habit of munching anything while reading or studying, from chips, bubble gums to candies. Seokmin is puzzled as to why Wonwoo has never gotten fat from his habit since he is very studious. Now, when he comes to visit Wonwoo's room to accompany him reading or studying, he is never absent to bring snacks.</p><p>“Yes, do you want a bite?” Wonwoo asks while peeling off the lime candy paper. Seokmin nods eagerly while sitting closer to Wonwoo. Wonwoo is not prepared when Seokmin slightly opens his mouth and takes his tongue out. Is he asking to be fed? He chuckles because Seokmin looks so cute with his tongue rolling out, looking at him with glittering eyes. He puts the candy on Seokmin's tongue. They laugh for a moment before Seokmin leans forward and puts his hand on Wonwoo's black hair.</p><p>Seokmin closes the gap between their mouths when his tongue delicately licks Wonwoo’s upper lip, asking the older one to open his mouth and responding to his invitation. Wonwoo closes his eyes, feeling his body melting like a strawberry ice cream amidst the summer heat. They kiss slowly and lovingly, tongues explore each other's mouth while savoring the taste of candy.</p><p>"Was the kiss good, Hyung?" </p><p>Between his labored breath, he looks at Seokmin who sees him expectantly. Seokmin’s moist lips from saliva from their make out is enough to send his heart flutter and his head goes light. Seokmin's smile is so wide when Wonwoo nods. He nuzzles his face onto the crook of Wonwoo's neck.</p><p>"It was amazing," Wonwoo kisses Seokmin's crown head. The kiss was amazing. Seokmin was amazing. After the kiss, Wonwoo still can sense the faint taste of lime candy that Seokmin ate earlier. Hearing the praise, Seokmin grins happily.</p><p>"I am sorry that I suddenly kissed you while you were still studying. I couldn't help it since you looked so cute," Seokmin raises his head a little to meet Wonwoo's eyes then pecks the corner of Wonwoo’s mouth.</p><p>Wonwoo chuckles, "That's okay. I already solved that equation right before you jumped on me."</p><p>Seokmin giggles like an excited child. He nuzzles deeper into Wonwoo's neck while hugging him tightly.</p><p>"I love you so much, Wonwoo-Hyung. I hope we can still like this when you go to Seoul."</p><p>Wonwoo's eyebrow furrows, "Of course we will. Seoul is not that far from Gunpo. It won't be hard for us to visit each other."</p><p>"But then you will be very busy with your study and you will have new friends too."</p><p>Wonwoo sits, looking at Seokmin’s beautiful eyes. He wants to tell everyone that he loves Seokmin, introduces him to his parents, Jihoon, Soonyoung as a lover, and walks hand in hand without attracting unwanted attention in public areas. But what should he do if the country they live in is still too conservative and is not yet ready to accept people like them? Seokmin says he doesn't mind hiding their relationship, considering that school is such a hard place for queer teenagers, hence their situation cannot be helped. Wonwoo’s room now has become the only safe haven for both of them.</p><p>"If you are thinking that I will leave you, let me assure you that I will not and I don't have any intention to do so."</p><p>"I appreciate that." His eyes look sad, but he is still able to put on a genuine smile.</p><p>Wonwoo hugs Seokmin tightly. He appreciates Seokmin for allowing him to choose a university in Seoul, just because he wants Wonwoo to have a better future. There are lots of prestigious universities in Gunpo, but it is his dream to enter S University. He promises to himself to study hard and when he is accepted, he will meet Seokmin often so that they will not miss each other that much.</p><p>"You will enter a university in Seoul next year and we will be together," Wonwoo says while peppering Seokmin's face with kisses. He trails kisses over his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, his beauty mark, his lips, making the younger one close his eyes and sighs in comfort. He really likes it when Wonwoo gives him full attention and spoils him like this.</p><p>"You know how poor I am at studying."</p><p>"I'll help you study for the exam," Wonwoo says reassuringly, "You are already good at Korean history and social studies. You only need to boost your points on other subjects."</p><p>"Hmm... thanks, Hyung," Seokmin smiles from ear to ear, "We will work it out, but first, I will let you study peacefully."</p><p>He pushes his body away from Wonwoo and sits across him. He then reads a magazine that he abandoned earlier because he was distracted by Wonwoo. Wonwoo is sure that Seokmin will go sleepy for the next ten minutes after reading it. An autumn light slips through his bedroom's window curtains and shines on Seokmin's hair and face. His lips are still wet and red from their make out. He looks so beautiful.</p><p>“Rather than study, I prefer to kiss you right now,” Wonwoo takes the magazine from Seokmin’s lap. He puts his hand on Seokmin’s thigh and uses the tip of his tongue to open Seokmin’s lips. The younger one lets out a muffled laugh, then opens his mouth, eagerly welcoming Wonwoo’s tongue entering and exploring his mouth for the second time.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Wonwoo is determined. He already has a future plan for both of them. Once he is accepted at S University, Seokmin will follow him next year. During their separation, they promise to always have a call at night and meet each other as often as possible. Then, if Seokmin is finally accepted at a university in Seoul, they will be inseparable. </p><p>Wonwoo's days of being a third-year student are very hard.</p><p>He gets busier each day and more stressed out when he looks at the mock exam results that he deems not enough to secure his seat at the university. He pushes himself to his limit, making him easily snap, and accidentally yells at Seokmin. <em> Shut up, you're distracting me </em>, he once said when Seokmin asks him what food and drinks he wants to order at a restaurant when he is too concentrated and stressed out. He always feels bad afterward, thinking that he is no different from Seokmin's abusive ex-girlfriend. Fortunately, Seokmin never gets angry at him. He completely understands Wonwoo's stressful state; he always forgives and supports Wonwoo in every possible way. Wonwoo thinks that he is the luckiest man in the world for having a pure soul like Seokmin.</p><p>One day, Wonwoo, Seokmin, and Soonyoung have a random meeting at a shop by the station after Wonwoo’s cram school. <em> I’m bored. Can you accompany me? Jihoon is already going home</em>, Soonyoung said over the phone. They order a bowl of noodles and have a chat. For a moment, Wonwoo can forget about his stressful life and have fun because Seokmin and Soonyoung are very good at making him laugh with their remarks and jokes. It is unfortunate that Jihoon is not there with them.</p><p>After eating, they board a train together to go home. The last train that night is deserted. Other than them in the train car is a middle-aged man sleeping and a young businesswoman busying herself with her smartphone. Seokmin is sleeping next to Wonwoo with his head resting comfortably on his shoulder. </p><p>Soonyoung chews his bubble gum while looking at Seokmin. He giggles, “He looks so cute when he’s sleeping, don’t you agree?”</p><p>Wonwoo chuckles, “He does.”</p><p>Soonyoung smiles. He leans on his seat, the back of his head on a window, “If you’re accepted at S University, I bet he will shamelessly cry while accompanying you at the train station. If that actually happens, I don’t want to stand anywhere near him.”</p><p>“We promise to hang out once when our schedule fits,” Wonwoo says.</p><p>“I see,” Soonyoung grins, “I am happy to know that your romantic relationship with Seokmin works well.”</p><p>Wonwoo whips his head to look at Soonyoung, surprised, “Do you know?”</p><p>“Of course,” Soonyoung purses his lips, “You two are so obvious, you know? At least from my point of view. You two even watched Queer Eye together.”</p><p>Wonwoo silences. Of course, Queer Eye. Wonwoo wants to facepalm from embarrassment. </p><p>“What about Jihoon?” Wonwoo asks curiously.</p><p>Soonyoung shrugs, “I never ask him, but does it matter? We are your friends, Wonwoo, and we will always be.”</p><p>He examines Soonyoung’s face, who is now grinning from eye to eye. Soonyoung, who is a bubbly, cheerful friend of his, accepts him as he is. He is relieved to have an open-minded friend who supports the relationship between him and Seokmin. Wonwoo has never been this grateful in his life.</p><p>“Both of you look good together, if I’m being honest,” Soonyoung smiles broadly while adjusting his seating position, “and he looks the happiest when he’s with you.”</p><p>Wonwoo smiles while brushing Seokmin’s thick, smooth hair lightly. Seokmin stirs up a little in his sleep.</p><p>“I consider Seokmin as my younger brother, so if you hurt him or make him cry, I will seriously punch you square in the face,” Soonyoung jokingly threatens Wonwoo.</p><p>“You know I won’t,” Wonwoo says while smiling gently.</p><p>When Wonwoo and Seokmin arrive at their stop, Soonyoung gives goodbye waves from the train.</p><p>Both of them walk side by side heading to the bicycle parking.</p><p>“I guess… see you tomorrow?” Seokmin says while sitting on the saddle with his feet resting on the ground.</p><p>“See you tomorrow.”</p><p>Wonwoo doesn’t want to end the day with a simple goodbye, so he kisses the tip of Seokmin’s nose lovingly. Seokmin is surprised because usually, Wonwoo is the one who is more cautious when showing his affection in public places.</p><p>“I haven’t properly said thank you,” Wonwoo says while cupping both of Seokmin’s cheeks, “for standing by me and believing in me.” Then he hugs Seokmin warmly and protectively. He doesn’t want to let go. He wants to be like this with Seokmin forever.</p><p>"I will keep my promise to pass the test and wait for you until next year. I will spend more time calling or texting you so you will not miss me that much."</p><p>Seokmin returns the hug then sniffles, “The entrance exam is still next month, Hyung. Please don’t make me feel like you’re going to Seoul already.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo releases the hug and sees warm tears on Seokmin’s cheeks. Wonwoo wipes those tears while chuckling, “Promise me you will not cry when I go to Seoul because I will not leave you.”</p><p>“I cannot promise you that,” Seokmin purses as he wipes his own tears, “but I will try.”</p><p>Seokmin doesn’t keep his promise. He sobs into Wonwoo’s chest, hands clenching at his jeans jacket when the train to Seoul arrives. Wonwoo holds Seokmin while giving soothing words, promising to call him when he arrives at the university dorm. Jihoon and Soonyoung give a long, tight hug to Wonwoo before he departs.</p><p>Seokmin waves him goodbye, tears still spilling from his eyes like water from a dam, but at least he smiles and he mouths<em> I love you, Wonwoo-Hyung</em>. Suddenly, Wonwoo wants to cry too.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As of today (April 3), I just found out that <a>Michel Foucault sexually abused boys while living in Tunisia in the late 1960s</a>.</p><p>The news about this issue was released on March 28, 2021, and I have an urge to let you know how deeply sorry I am for mentioning about Foucault in my story. However, I decided to not exclude his name from this chapter. I know it sounds silly, but what I am thinking right now is although he was not a good person, but he delivered progressive ideas for future generations and I must appreciate his work.</p><p>I hope you understand my decision. Have a good day.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wonwoo’s university life has been running for four months. </p><p>It has been hellish. He must complete all of the assignments with tight deadlines, read many books, and catch up with university social life. Attending parties is the least thing that Wonwoo wants to do, but he doesn’t want to be labeled as a hermit by his peers. Hence, when one of his classmates invites him to a party, he thinks that maybe he can come to the party for about thirty minutes and go back to his dormitory room. By the time he arrives, Wonwoo doesn’t know anyone. Everyone already looks knowing each other or maybe it is just the alcohol talking. He takes a red plastic cup filled with orange juice and sits on an empty two-seater sofa. He checks on his phone when it buzzes. It’s a message from Seokmin.</p><p>
  <em> Hyung, what are you doing? I miss you :( </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I decided not to be sad, so I changed the emoji from :( to :) </em>
</p><p>Wonwoo smiles while typing.</p><p>
  <em> I am at a party. We will have a phone call at 9 pm? </em>
</p><p>Seokmin instantly replies.</p><p>
  <em> I wish I were there to see you drunk :)) Sure, 9 pm! </em>
</p><p>For the first two months, their communication went smoothly. They had spare time every night before they slept to have a call. However, they rarely have time for calls nowadays, as Seokmin gets busy with studying and Wonwoo with his academic activities, so they opt to communicate through text messages. The communication through texts is okay. Sometimes, they share stories about their daily lives or pictures about things, mostly Seokmin’s dog. Therefore, if they have time for calls, it would be the most precious thing that both of them cherish in their current relationship.</p><p>Just when Wonwoo wants to rise from the sofa to grab a chocolate cake on a kitchen counter, a naturally handsome and instantly likable guy sits beside him. He stretches out his hand, smiles in full confidence.</p><p>“Hi, Kim Mingyu. I am majoring in French Language and Literature.”</p><p>“Jeon Wonwoo. I am majoring in Political Science,” Wonwoo shakes Mingyu’s large hands. Mingyu’s handshake is so firm and full of credence.</p><p>“So? Do you care to explain to me why you look so bored at this party?” Mingyu smiles at Wonwoo again. He looks so unfairly handsome and self-assured it is so hard for Wonwoo to ignore the man so much.</p><p>“I come to this party so that at least I have one or two people that I know in this university,” Wonwoo says honestly.</p><p>“Well, if that’s your purpose in attending this party, I can introduce you to some of my friends,” Mingyu springs up from the sofa and offers a hand for Wonwoo while giving a perfect smile. Something about Mingyu makes him stay vigilant as if Mingyu is a manipulative wolf in the Red Riding Hood story that has an intention to swallow him whole. But on the other hand, Mingyu is like a man who is full of surprises, and thinking of the possibilities makes Wonwoo thrilled and excited. He then decides to trust Mingyu, cautiously taking Mingyu’s hand.</p><p>Mingyu then drags Wonwoo to some people that look nice, friendly, and as casual as Mingyu. There is one Chinese who speaks fluent Korean named Jun from the Department of Economics, then one Korean named Seungcheol from the Department of Earth and Environmental Sciences, and one Korean-American student who aspires to be a Korean medicine doctor named Joshua. Suddenly, he sits in front of a round table with four people, chatting about their lives, accompanied by tortilla chips and glasses of cold beer. </p><p>Wonwoo becomes know more about his new friends. Jun is the son of the two most famous celebrities in China. His parents own an entertainment company in China and are ready to expand the business to South Korea. Compared to Jun, Joshua is less ambitious. He shares that he wants to be a Korean medicine doctor in his hometown in LA to follow in his mother's footsteps. Seungcheol, Wonwoo thinks, is the most mature and the calmest one among them. He talks less but he also pays attention to the conversation and knows the best moment to speak. Meanwhile, Mingyu is very passionate about French literature. He says that he likes reading French novels and he is a big fan of Michel Foucault.</p><p>“Now I understand why you wear a turtleneck sweater,” Wonwoo giggles, “because you want to look like Foucault.”</p><p>Mingyu playfully winks, “Bingo! But I am not ready to shave my head completely bald yet.”</p><p>All of Mingyu's friends laugh when imagining Mingyu being completely bald.</p><p>"If you were bald, I think you would look more like a monk than Foucault," Jun says between his laugh.</p><p>"A monk who can flirt in French? That's awesome," Joshua whistles.</p><p>"Flirt in French?" Wonwoo asks curiously.</p><p>"He is so good at it," Seungcheol pats Mingyu's back like a proud father to his son. Mingyu giggles when Joshua and Jun encourage him to try to flirt in French with Wonwoo. It is supposed to be a joke, they say.</p><p>Mingyu clears his throat and prepares himself animatedly, sending all of them tittering. Mingyu then takes Wonwoo's hand and looks straight into his eyes. Now Wonwoo sees that Mingyu's eyes are so deep and clear they make his heart thump.</p><p>"<em> Des bonbons," </em> Mingyu starts, " <em> Je suis fou de toi. Tu veux sortir avec moi? </em>"</p><p>Wonwoo doesn't understand a single thing that Mingyu just said to him, but the way he speaks perfect French, his face looks so serious, makes Wonwoo's face warm. </p><p>"What did you say?" Joshua asks in curiosity. </p><p>Mingyu looks at Wonwoo for a moment with his eyes as if peering at some unusual object. He then averts his gaze from Wonwoo and looks at their anticipated friends with a wide grin.</p><p>"I said, 'Candy, I am crazy about you. Do you want to go out with me?'"</p><p>The sentence sends others laughing out loud, but it makes Wonwoo's face even redder because it is so embarrassing and cringy.</p><p>"Among many sweet nicknames, you chose to call me 'candy'?" Wonwoo retorts in protest. Mingyu just laughs.</p><p>"Why? I thought Candy is a cute nickname for a cute person like you."</p><p>Wonwoo thinks for a moment. Is Mingyu flirting with him? But his expression doesn't say that he was serious about what he said earlier, so Wonwoo concludes that Mingyu just teased him.</p><p>“Speaking about Foucault,” Seungcheol intervenes and looks at Wonwoo, “He was known as a heavy drinker. Are you?”</p><p>“I can drink,” Wonwoo says confidently.</p><p>“Seungcheol loves to drink,” Joshua said, “and I bet he wants to challenge you to play Beer Pong.” Jun then points out a table near them, surrounded by other students who are amused to watch other students playing the game.</p><p>“I can’t say no to a challenge,” Wonwoo says. He suddenly has the will and energy to socialize and show everyone that he can be someone who knows how to have fun at a party. All of them look excited, especially Mingyu when Wonwoo accepts Seungcheol's invitation. </p><p>At the end, when the party's over, with Wonwoo losing the game, all of them go back to the dorm building, laughing and tipsy.</p><p>“You can visit my place anytime you want. We can talk more about Foucault’s theory of power and knowledge more at my place,” Mingyu grins while pointing at his dormitory building. Wonwoo lightly nods while slightly chuckling. His head feels spinning a little bit and his vision is hazy because of the alcohol.</p><p>“Hey, can I lend your smartphone?” Mingyu asks. He casually puts one hand in his jeans pocket while the other hand stretches towards Wonwoo.</p><p>When Wonwoo’s smartphone is in Mingyu’s hands, he types his phone number, “Since we are friends, you can have my number. Text me if you want to visit my room or just hang out together, okay?”</p><p>Wonwoo nods while smiling. He actually feels grateful for meeting a nice person like Mingyu. Mingyu bits his lower lip while grinning widely from ear to ear, unintentionally showing off his canines. He looks at Wonwoo as if he is a treasure.</p><p>“So... I guess see you later?” Mingyu says, brushing his smooth black hair backward. Gosh, even his forehead looks perfect.</p><p>Wonwoo nods, “Okay, see you.”</p><p>Mingyu already turns her body towards his dorm building and so does Wonwoo, but then suddenly Mingyu runs towards Wonwoo and holds his hand. Before Wonwoo can say anything, Mingyu kisses him. Wonwoo is frozen. He neither responds to the kiss nor pushes Mingyu away, and it confuses him. He then pulls his body back to see Wonwoo’s reaction or to hear what the other man wants to say.</p><p>“I have a boyfriend,” Wonwoo says softly, barely audible.</p><p>Mingyu blinks his eyes, perplexed. He looks surprised, “Oh.”</p><p>The situation turns awkward.</p><p>Wonwoo thinks it’s not his fault because Mingyu is the one who kissed him first. However, he also puts the blame on himself because after chatting for two hours with Mingyu and others at the party, he never mentioned that he is in a relationship. Why didn’t he tell them that he already had Seokmin as his boyfriend? </p><p>“Well… sorry I-”</p><p>“You didn’t know. It’s okay,” Wonwoo cuts Mingyu’s sentences in frustration.</p><p>Mingyu exhales. His expression looks like someone who just made the biggest mistake in their lives, “Okay, let’s pretend it didn’t happen.”</p><p>“Yea, I agree,” Wonwoo says without looking at Mingyu. He somehow feels embarrassed and exposed when looking at Mingyu’s eyes at this point.</p><p>“Okay… So… are we still friends?”</p><p>“Of course,” Wonwoo quickly replies. He wants to get back to his room, or anywhere as long as he is not with Mingyu. After they give each other awkwardly, but proper, goodbyes, Wonwoo runs back to his dorm room. He sits on the edge of his bed, thinking about Mingyu’s kiss.</p><p>It tasted different from Seokmin's.</p><p>Seokmin’s lips tasted like pink cotton candy. It is light, sweet, and innocent. On the other hand, Mingyu’s lips are like a carbonated lemon-lime drink. It is refreshing, fizzy, and delightful. </p><p>Wonwoo curses when he accidentally looks at a clock on his nightstand. It’s already 11 pm. He quickly fishes out his smartphone from his pants pocket, only to see one missed call from Seokmin and one text says <em> Good night, Wonwoo-Hyung. I love you. </em></p><p>Wonwoo sighs. He doesn't want to think about Seokmin for a moment, it makes his head hurt. He turns off his phone, puts it on a nightstand, and throws his body on his bed.</p><p>He never knew that maintaining a long-distance relationship can be this hard. He still loves Seokmin. He still loves him so much it drives him crazy. But he misses intimacy and he doesn’t find it in their current relationship. He is always happy and content when he receives calls or texts from Seokmin, but if he wants to be honest with himself, he feels miserable and lonely each day because he misses Seokmin’s presence. Calls and texts are great, but he still feels something is missing, or someone is missing. He has no one to go through fun, romantic dates with. He still sleeps alone without no one spoons him. He doesn’t have anyone physically available to shower him with love. He misses the way Seokmin looks at him with his genuine smile, the way their fingers entwined, the way Seokmin kisses him...</p><p>Wonwoo licks his own lips, unconsciously trying to find the taste of Mingyu’s lips that still lingers on his. He feels very guilty afterward.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the incident, Wonwoo and Mingyu try to act normally and so far, they have been playing their parts well. Even when it’s only two of them, they don’t feel awkward at all. Blame it on the alcohol, they think. </p><p>They have so many things in common; they love to read philosophy books and then discuss them together for fun. Mingyu is also a good listener and a trustable person. He tells Mingyu about everything; Seokmin, their relationship, their future plan, their dreams. Mingyu knows when to just listen to Wonwoo’s rambling because he just needs someone to talk to, or when to give him advice and suggestions when Wonwoo is faced with problems. Wonwoo begins to believe that a perfect person like Mingyu can exist.</p><p>“Why are you walking behind me like that?” Mingyu stops and turns his body facing Wonwoo who walks a yard behind him.</p><p>“I don’t quite like walking beside you,” Wonwoo says truthfully. Mingyu’s brows furrow, “not because I hate you, but because of the unwanted attention people give when they look at you.”</p><p>Mingyu looks at his surroundings. Girls and boys are looking at him as if he is a Hallyu star. He smiles and waves at a random girl, making her face instantly red. Wonwoo rolls his eyes. Of course, he is used to the attention, since Mingyu is aware that he has a look that everyone adores.</p><p>“Show off,” Wonwoo mumbles while Mingyu laughs mischievously. If they don’t have a philosophy class together, Wonwoo refuses to walk near Mingyu, particularly in broad daylight. His presence is so striking, it draws attention like sugar to ants.</p><p>“I don’t think all of the attention is directed to me, but to you as well,” Mingyu walks beside Wonwoo, holding one book in one hand while the other hand nestles neatly inside his trouser pocket. He wears a tawny color polo shirt and a gold Rolex watch, looking so effortlessly gorgeous.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Wonwoo says, “when I walk with you, the attention doubles and I don’t like that.”</p><p>Mingyu encircles his hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder casually, since he’s taller, “Why don’t you stop complaining and for a moment enjoy the attention?</p><p>Mingyu has an inborn quality that draws people to him and makes them follow him. His grades, his aura, his looks, have impressed people. When Wonwoo becomes Mingyu’s special friend, people treat him with a certain respect and adulation. Mingyu repeatedly says to him that he has a special charm too (you are gorgeous and smart, you just talk less than most people; it makes you look unapproachable, Mingyu once told him), but Wonwoo refuses to acknowledge that.</p><p>“Hey, would you accompany me here?”</p><p>Mingyu hands over his phone, showing off a digital flyer. It is a flower arranging class. He looks at Mingyu, who grins widely at him, “It’s only 40 dollars.”</p><p>Wonwoo raises one eyebrow, trying hard to hide his wide smile. He imagines Mingyu with a green apron, holding flower cutters and stems of flowers, looking adorably cute with his usual perfect smile. “I don’t know if you are interested in arranging flowers." </p><p>“Actually, I didn’t,” Mingyu takes his phone back, “but Minghao, he’s a regular there, invited me. Then, I started liking it. It’s somehow cathartic.”</p><p>Minghao is another rich friend of Mingyu from China. He is a big fan of wine, same as Mingyu. When they talk about Chardonnay or Riesling as their favorites, Wonwoo just listens to them, interested. Minghao often invited Mingyu and also Wonwoo to his rented private room to taste several favorite wines that he brought from China or he bought in South Korea. Often, they talk about types of wines and end up tipsy.</p><p>“Don’t lie,” Wonwoo says, “you want to attend the class because there will also be a wine tasting session, right?”</p><p> Hearing it, Mingyu smiles sheepishly, “Well… that’s a bonus.”</p><p>Wonwoo cannot say no, particularly when Mingyu begs him to come. When he attends the class, he knows that he sucks at flower arranging. Mingyu, on the other hand, already looks like an experienced florist. He looks serious putting and arranging flowers inside a flower bucket and his work does not look bad at all.</p><p>“Why are you so good at <em> everything </em>?” Wonwoo who stands beside Mingyu gives up on his flowers and looks at Mingyu working on his instead. He doesn't hide his adoration to Mingyu anymore since it is true that Mingyu is talented in everything, from speaking fluent French to cooking any dishes. He begins to think that God is so unfair for making a perfect human being exist.</p><p>Mingyu looks at him, smiles, and returns to his flowers as if he absorbs Wonwoo’s praise and uses it as fuel to make a better flower arrangement.</p><p>“I think I was born with knowledge and looks,” Mingyu jokes.</p><p>“Yeah, sure,” Wonwoo giggles.</p><p>“I am kidding. I don't have all that talents. Why I am good at this is because I have been practicing a lot. I told you before that I attended this class several times with Minghao,” Mingyu points at a stem of red winterberry with his chin that lays near Wonwoo’s flower arrangement, politely asking Wonwoo to help him handing it to him since both of his hands are occupied.</p><p>“I know, but your flower arrangement looks so beautiful as if it is made by a professional florist,” Wonwoo mumbles while picking the flower and hands it to Mingyu who then mutters thank you.</p><p>Mingyu’s flower arrangement (of course) gains praise from the teacher. He then gives his flower arrangement to Wonwoo, <em> a gift for accompanying me </em>, he says. Again, Wonwoo cannot say no, simply because the flower arrangement looks so pretty to be ignored. The flower arrangement contains autumnal flower favorites; chrysanthemums that sit among a fountain of red winterberry, burning bush, and purple beautyberry. It is then adorned by purple hazel leaves, broom corn, ornamental grass, blackish dahlias, and artichokes. The arrangement now stands prettily on Wonwoo’s desk, always welcoming Wonwoo from tiring classes with its color and autumn smell once he opens his dorm door.</p><p>Mingyu essentially fills Wonwoo’s head. His striking feature and personality have blinded him from the reality that he has someone to look after. He already has Seokmin who is now working as hard as he can to achieve their goals. While he just needs to be available for Seokmin, such as texting or calling Seokmin to ask about his whereabouts, he prefers to spend time with Mingyu, from reading books together in silence to eating at pojangmacha near a bus station. He realizes that he actually spends more time with Mingyu rather than Seokmin.</p><p>He often asks himself whether he has fallen in love with Mingyu and gradually loses his feelings for Seokmin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“You’re wasted,” Mingyu laughs while dragging Wonwoo’s body to his dorm. They just attended a party and for a reason that Mingyu doesn’t know, Wonwoo drank a lot.</p><p>Mingyu has never seen Wonwoo drunk like this and to be honest, he takes all of his self-control to not take advantage of Wonwoo's current state. He admits it, he is very interested in Wonwoo. The first time he saw Wonwoo sat alone at a party, looking so cutely bored, Mingyu felt intrigued to know him. Turns out, Wonwoo was a very interesting guy that sparked something in Mingyu’s heart.</p><p>When he without thinking kissed Wonwoo, he thought that Wonwoo would kiss him back, because he believed that Wonwoo was interested in him too. He is very experienced in relationships, he has countless relationships before, with younger or older men and women, and he knows exactly when someone has taken interest in him. However, Wonwoo didn’t reply to his kiss nor pushed him back; it made Mingyu confused. Wonwoo then told him that he already had a boyfriend; a word that Mingyu expected least from Wonwoo’s mouth. Of course, a man who is as gorgeous as Wonwoo surely already has a partner; a boyfriend to be exact. Mingyu’s heart was shattered at that moment. He felt rejected already. Thankfully, Wonwoo didn’t cut out their relationship as they still became friends. He carefully tried to build their relationship again and things went well up to this point.</p><p>Mingyu, with difficulty, unlocks Wonwoo’s door; he doesn’t bother to turn on the light as the room is bright enough, thanks to a big window next to the bed and today’s full moon. He smiles when he finds his flower arrangement on Wonwoo’s desk.</p><p>“Hey, I put you on your bed, okay?” Mingyu whispers to Wonwoo’s ear as he lays Wonwoo’s body on his bed. He is ready to go back to his dorm room when suddenly Wonwoo’s hand grasps his wrist.</p><p>“Don’t leave,” Wonwoo says.</p><p>Mingyu hesitates. He knows what will happen if he stays and to be honest, he is too afraid and excited at the same time if his imagination comes true.</p><p>“You’re drunk,” Mingyu says without even looking at the older one. </p><p>“I am not,” Wonwoo clears his throat, “That wine really makes me sober.” He changes his position from laying down to sitting. His vision is a bit hazy, but he can see Mingyu’s handsome features clearly. Mingyu’s cheek blush pink while he ducks his head down, an uncertain act that Wonwoo has never witnessed from Mingyu who always looks so confident.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Mingyu chuckles, “You should look at your face and tell me whether it’s the face of someone who is drunk or not.”</p><p>“I am serious,” Wonwoo doesn’t listen to Mingyu’s rambling and uses all of his energy left to pull Mingyu’s wrist, “and I want you to stay.”</p><p>Mingyu doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t push Wonwoo’s hand away. He looks at Wonwoo’s eyes with his dreamy eyes, as if looking for affirmation whether Wonwoo thinks the same way as he does. He looks so unsure, so doubtful, so vulnerable.</p><p>Wonwoo’s impulsive state wins over his rational logic as he curses and raises his body. He puts both of his hands on Mingyu’s shoulders and pulls him closer to him as Wonwoo kisses the man. Wonwoo’s movement is very quick, needy, and aggressive, Mingyu is a little taken aback by Wonwoo’s hidden whim. However, Mingyu likes this side of Wonwoo and he savors it gladly. He even lets himself be dragged by Wonwoo to his bed.</p><p>“Wait,” Mingyu pulls his body back to stop Wonwoo’s hungry kiss. Wonwoo has never been this beautiful in Mingyu’s eyes, breathless and confused.</p><p>“I just want to make sure that you will not regret whatever that will happen next,” Mingyu states. He really wants to ask Wonwoo about his current relationship with Seokmin, he knows that they haven’t broken up yet, but he doesn’t want to guilt-trip Wonwoo and  ends up ruining the atmosphere between the two, “I don’t want to ruin our relationship.”</p><p>Wonwoo soothes Mingyu by brushing Mingyu’s hair. His hand movement is between loving and impatient. The duality drives Mingyu crazy.</p><p>“Don’t think too much about it and just kiss me already.”</p><p>Mingyu’s mind jumbles when he finally kisses Wonwoo’s lips again. A lot of possibilities fill his head. Wonwoo probably is not drunk and flirts with him with full consciousness, or perhaps he is not. Whatever it is, after this, Wonwoo will probably hate him or like him. Either way, Mingyu doesn’t mind. He is too absorbed with what Wonwoo is doing to him right now with his hands roaming all over his body and his lips attached to his.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo keeps staring at a ceiling throughout the night. He doesn’t even realize that it is morning already.</p><p>Last night, he finally did it. He released his inner desire shamelessly in full consciousness. He didn’t entirely hate it, he just kind of regretted it as to why he didn't keep that urge and desire to Seokmin later.</p><p>That name fills Wonwoo’s head again. Last night, he didn’t remember about the younger man at all. His head feels light because of the alcohol and he feels so needy with a human touch. He is too absorbed with his own selfishness to fulfill his ego until he forgets about his future plans with Seokmin.</p><p>Despite blaming himself for being stupid, that night’s incident proves something. Seokmin now has become an abstract entity for him. Sure, they still text each other and have rare phone calls, but as it turns out, keeping up with each other’s whereabouts is not necessarily the same as growing closer. He feels distant from Seokmin each day, as they don’t really have anything important to talk about. As more time passes, a morning text from Seokmin, who used to make him smile from ear to ear, is now less important than his alarm notification. A text, after all, is not the same as having Seokmin nearby and whispering a morning greeting into his ear. Imagining about the amount of efforts he must put to maintain a long-distance relationship with Seokmin makes Wonwoo mentally tired.</p><p>While he is mentally and physically exhausted, thinking that perhaps he is wasting his fun and excitement of university life, Mingyu is there to wash all of his doubt away. They keep bumping into each other in classes or social events. Mingyu also understands him and is very caring. Day by day, he grows closer to Mingyu and he always tries to say no every time his heart tells him to move on from Seokmin and starts a real relationship with Mingyu. This idea of hugging and kissing Mingyu as a lover tortures him. And he has enough. He now longs for Mingyu’s face, Mingyu’s voice, and Mingyu’s touches. It is all he can now think of. Wonwoo knows that a relationship with Mingyu is a huge mistake, but he knows that Mingyu likes him too and they can work the relationship out.</p><p>His phone is ringing.</p><p>Seokmin is calling.</p><p>Wonwoo swipes the green button and puts the phone on his ear. He can hear Seokmin’s shaky breath.</p><p>“Hyung, we need to talk.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seokmin sighs.</p><p>Wonwoo didn’t answer his call. That’s unusual, but at the same time, it is not strange. Wonwoo is busy with his study and social interactions at university, Seokmin cannot blame him. He then types a goodnight text to Wonwoo and thinks that he must lower his expectation that Wonwoo will reply to his text immediately.</p><p>He puts his smartphone in his jacket pocket and puts all books on the table inside his bag. Today’s cram school finally ends. Without a call from Wonwoo, Seokmin thinks that he will drop by at a nearby convenience store to buy a snack and go straight back to his house afterward.</p><p>He has been studying very hard for the past four months. He always listens to his teachers during classes and makes notes. He also never skips cram school and always goes back home at 10 pm, even on weekends. However, his mock exam results are never satisfactory. When he told Wonwoo about this, he tried to console him and light up his spirit by saying that he could get a better result on the next mock exams. He thanked Wonwoo for encouraging him and putting faith in him, but to be honest, Seokmin is not sure that he can get a spot at any universities in Seoul since all of them are favorite universities among students nationwide.</p><p>He feels so lonely and stressed out lately.</p><p>Since Jihoon is accepted at Y University and Soonyoung at G University, Seokmin doesn’t have anyone near him to hang out with. He tries to busy himself with studying or playing with his dog, but he longs for human companionship. He longs for Wonwoo’s companionship. Yet, Wonwoo rarely has time for calls, he also often replies to his texts late. It’s not that he questions Wonwoo’s faithfulness or whether he has stopped caring about him, but he really needs attention from Wonwoo and he is not providing it when Seokmin desperately needs it.</p><p>His phone vibrates.</p><p>He quickly reaches for his phone, thinking that Wonwoo might reply to his text, but the text is not from Wonwoo. It’s from his ex-girlfriend.</p><p>
  <em> Where are you? Let’s meet. </em>
</p><p>Seokmin looks at the text for a moment then quickly deletes it. It is very bad timing. Why does she suddenly contact him, when he is alone without Wonwoo by his side? He decides to block her number as he passes through an entrance door of his cram school.</p><p>“Seokmin.”</p><p>A girl calls him, making Seokmin looks up from his phone.</p><p>His former girlfriend is waiting for him near the entrance.</p><p>Seokmin never forgets her long, shiny black hair; slim, graceful arms and legs; bright eyes, and a soft little mouth that looks as if someone has just made it. To Seokmin’s eyes, she is the prettiest girl she has ever seen with a kind of pure, sweet, transparent beauty, yet the cruelest person she has ever met and known.</p><p>She approaches Seokmin and shows the screen of her smartphone, “Did you just block my number?”</p><p>Seokmin feels a sudden fear. How does she know that he has a cram school today? Does she stalk him? Seokmin immediately turns on his heel and walks away. He doesn’t respond when the girl keeps calling his name several times.</p><p>“Seokmin! If you keep ignoring me, I will come to your school and spread bad rumors about you. You know I can do that; I have all of your friends’ numbers.”</p><p>Seokmin stops. She threatens him and he has enough.</p><p>“Do what you want. I don’t care,” Seokmin says nonchalantly. He really doesn’t care about her threat and what will happen. He doesn’t have any friends at school and if the entire school hates him because of the false rumor, it will not make a practical difference with his school life. He will always be treated like a pebble on the street: exist but ignored.</p><p>“Seokmin,” the girl holds Seokmin’s hand, attempting to stop Seokmin from ignoring her again, “You know I didn’t mean that.”</p><p>Seokmin feels angry. Minutes ago, she threatened him with a false rumor and now she says that she doesn’t mean it? How long will she pretend to get what she wants from him?</p><p>“Actually, you do,” Seokmin forcefully snatches his hand away, leaving the girl surprised because Seokmin never goes angry and forceful like that to her before, “You could do that and I don’t mind. You could do anything you want but please leave me alone!"</p><p>“No!” the girl screams, making them the center of attention of the pedestrians. Seokmin doesn’t know whether it is one of her tricks or not, he just simply doesn’t care. “How can you tell me that after what you’ve done to me?”</p><p>“What did I exactly do to you?” Seokmin asks back with a frustrated tone, “You were the one who hurt me, verbally and physically, and I endured it for a long time. Why can't you just leave me?”</p><p>The girl starts sobbing. Tears roll from her eyes to her cheeks. She looks so sad and desperate. Seokmin for a moment believes that those tears are real. She weeps when Seokmin ignores her. When Seokmin is ready to leave, she tries to catch Seokmin’s hand and hugs him, but Seokmin quickly pushes her away. Seokmin unconsciously pushes her too hard, making the girl fall to the ground with a loud thud.</p><p>All people near him are now staring at him with surprised and disgusted looks. They think that they just witnessed a young boy who acted violently to his pretty, vulnerable girlfriend.</p><p>Two people try to help the girl stand. She still cries. Meanwhile, a man approaches Seokmin then suddenly scolds him for being violent.</p><p>“Do you think what you just did to your girlfriend is okay?”</p><p>“I don’t-“</p><p>“Why are you acting so violent? Do you think you have the right to hit a girl like that?” one man joins.</p><p>“I didn’t hit her! We just argued then-“</p><p>“What a pathetic man.”</p><p>"Coward."</p><p>“Gross."</p><p>"A person like you shouldn't exist."</p><p>The crowd doesn’t give any chance for Seokmin to explain what he just did is an act of self-defense. He feels so confused and cornered because no one really knows the background of their quarrel. When the girl finally intercedes, saying that no one is at fault and it is just a misunderstanding, everyone believes her. Seokmin is lost for words. Some of those people witnessed what happened between them from the beginning, yet they believe that Seokmin is still at fault.</p><p>He immediately runs away from the girl and the small crowd, crying. He is a sobbing mess. He continues to cry shamelessly when walking to the train station and even inside a train, feeling so hopeless with what he just experienced. Without Jihoon, Soonyoung, and Wonwoo, he feels so helpless because no one is really at his side to defend and protect him from his former girlfriend.</p><p>He takes out his phone from his pocket and with his shaky fingers dials Wonwoo’s number but he doesn't answer his phone.</p><p>After trying to phone Wonwoo several times to no avail, he finally gives up. There is no use asking for help. He is alone.</p><p>The next day, Seokmin decides to unblock her former girlfriend’s number. Since then, the texts and the calls never stop. Seokmin tries to ignore her texts and calls, but she reminds her of what she is capable of, and Seokmin’s strength and resolve start to wear away.</p><p>Seokmin complies when she asks him to accompany him to go shopping. He eats cookies that she made for him because she orders him to. He cannot avoid her because she always waits at the school gate and accompanies him to the cram school. People who don't know their history might see her as a good, sweet girlfriend who is very dedicated to her boyfriend, but all of her actions make Seokmin suffocated with anxiety. He simply cannot run away from her shadow for a second.</p><p>Seokmin’s stressful life wears him away. He cannot concentrate in class. He gradually skips cram school to do activities that the girl wishes. As a result, Seokmin’s mock exam results are getting more terrible than the previous ones.</p><p>
  <em> I am sorry for hitting you, but it’s because you are at fault too. </em>
</p><p>She says that to him once they meet, Seokmin begins to think that maybe he is at fault too.</p><p>
  <em> I am sorry that I am being very possessive over you, Seokmin. It’s because all of my past boyfriends cheated on me. </em>
</p><p>She tells him that with tears rolling down her plump, red cheeks. Seokmin doesn't blame her anymore for being violent and possessive. He shifts his position from strong and resolved to guilt, regret, and attempt to take care of her, to stop her from crying.</p><p>She reminds Seokmin about their good times and, surprisingly, there are plenty. There were times when they held hands together, shared hugs and kisses, and exchanged soothing words to each other.</p><p>She says she loves him and wants to make up with him, Seokmin thinks perhaps he should tell Wonwoo about all of the things that have been happening between him and his former girlfriend directly.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Wonwoo picks his call.</p><p>“Hyung, we need to talk,” Seokmin whispers.</p><p>It is the first time after weeks that they finally have a phone call. </p><p>“Seokmin, why are you calling me this early? Did something happen?” Wonwoo raises from his bed and looks at the clock. He can hear Mingyu is in his bathroom, showering. Mingyu has a morning class today.</p><p>“Sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand, but I am on a train heading to your university.”</p><p>Wonwoo frowns, doesn’t really comprehend what Seokmin just said to him. “But it’s a Tuesday, Seokmin. Did you skip school today?”</p><p>“I kind of did. I really want to meet you to talk about… something.”</p><p>“I…,” Wonwoo cannot think straight for a moment. The trip usually takes three hours, so he has time to get ready. “Okay. Do you want me to pick you up?”</p><p>“Sure, only if you’re not that busy.”</p><p>Seokmin tells him the arrival time at the train station when Mingyu gets out of the bathroom, looks curious about who’s on the line talking to Wonwoo. He tries not to eavesdropping, so he goes to Wonwoo’s wardrobe, picks Wonwoo’s T-shirt, and wears it.</p><p>“Can I borrow your T-shirt? I promise I’ll laundry them,” Mingyu says.</p><p>“You are already wearing it so there’s no need to ask for my permission,” Wonwoo puts his phone on the desk and walks to the bathroom sink to wash his face.</p><p>“Who was that on the phone earlier?” Mingyu approaches Wonwoo and stands behind him. He encircles his arms on Wonwoo’s waist and rests his chin on Wonwoo’s shoulder.</p><p>Wonwoo bits his bottom lip. “It’s Seokmin.”</p><p>“Seokmin?” Mingyu asks, “What about him?”</p><p>Wonwoo sighs while picking a toothbrush and putting a small amount of toothpaste on the head of the toothbrush. “He is on the way here to meet me. I have no idea what's his purpose for coming here.”</p><p>Mingyu is silence for a moment while Wonwoo brushes his teeth. He plants a gentle kiss on Wonwoo’s cheek, “You will tell him about us?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Wonwoo says truthfully after he rinses his mouth with water, “I might. I don’t think it’s unfair to keep this secret from him. The faster the better, I think.”</p><p>Mingyu tilts Wonwoo’s chin up with his hands and kisses him right on his lips. Such a tender gesture makes Wonwoo feels loved. “If you need me to help you tell Seokmin, don’t ever hesitate to call or text me, okay? Don’t make this your own problem, because it’s my problem too.”</p><p>Wonwoo looks at Mingyu and realizes that he is the one who wants this. He wants to be with Mingyu and he has to be responsible for his action. The truth will definitely crush Seokmin’s heart but he has to, for everyone’s sake.</p><p>Hours later, he is at a train station. It doesn’t take long for a train from Gunpo to arrive. It has been almost six months and Seokmin looks different. He looks thinner, making his cheekbones protrude more. He doesn’t look like the usual Seokmin he used to know. Seokmin used to always look happy, energetic, and attentive, but now he is quiet, solemn, and lacks energy. </p><p>“Hey, how was the trip?” Wonwoo hugs Seokmin, trying to act as normal as possible.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Seokmin smiles, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He looks tired.</p><p>“Do you want to eat something?” Wonwoo offers.</p><p>“No, I am not hungry.” Seokmin refuses, “Can we just go to your dorm, Hyung?"</p><p>Wonwoo touches Seokmin’s forearm in worry, “Are you okay? You don’t look good.”</p><p>Seokmin shakes his head and gently brushes Wonwoo’s hand from his forearm. “I am fine. Maybe I am just tired from the trip, that’s all.”</p><p>Wonwoo decides to believe Seokmin. Throughout the trip to Wonwoo’s dorm, Seokmin doesn’t say anything. It makes Wonwoo nervous. Does Seokmin know about him and Mingyu? If he knows, then how? Thoughts and possibilities fill Wonwoo’s mind. Though he knows that it is almost impossible for Seokmin to find out about it, he still cannot shake the thoughts.</p><p>Wonwoo tries to act nice. When they arrive at the dorm, he helps Seokmin to remove his jacket and hangs it on a coat hangers. He offers Seokmin drinks, but he refuses.</p><p>“What do you want to tell me, Seokmin? I have class at 2 pm so I don’t have much time.”</p><p>Seokmin sits on Wonwoo’s bed while twidling his fingers. Wonwoo sits beside Seokmin and waits for Seokmin to talk.</p><p>“I just… missed you, Hyung. I feel distant from you each day. You even haven’t replied to my texts all day.”</p><p>Wonwoo sighs. He was totally drunk yesterday he forgot to reply to Seokmin’s texts.</p><p>“I am sorry, Seokmin.”</p><p>“You are not answering my question, Hyung. Why you didn’t reply to all of my texts?”</p><p>Wonwoo feels cornered. He looks at Seokmin who looks at him with the same gentleness in his eyes.</p><p>“Are you angry with me?” Wonwoo asks.</p><p>Seokmin feels confused. Yes, he is upset because Wonwoo has been ignoring him lately, but he can't stop remembering that he loves Wonwoo dearly and he ends up putting his own emotions aside.</p><p>"Why should I?" Instead of being angry by Wonwoo's confrontation, Seokmin asks back.</p><p>Wonwoo sighs, "I haven't replied to your text all day. Why aren't you angry?"</p><p>Seokmin says nothing in return. </p><p>"Why are you never angry at me Seokmin? Don't you ever care or passionate about me or our relationship anymore?" Wonwoo asks again. Seokmin doesn't fully comprehend why Wonwoo suddenly acts like this. He is always gentle and caring for him, but now he acts unreasonably illogical, trying to provoke him and make Seokmin angry at him. Whatever the reason, Seokmin feels that Wonwoo is acting unreasonably cruel to him. He doesn't deserve to be scolded.</p><p>"Rather than angry, I think I am disappointed in you. I have been trying to call you several times, even during times when I know you're not in class or club activities, but you never picked up your phone. You rarely replied to my texts either, even when you replied, they were very short and meaningless. I don't get it, Hyung. I don't know how and when all of this started. I don't know whether it's my fault or your fault. I totally have no idea and I don't know what should I do."</p><p>Seokmin lets out all of his frustration. He lets out a shaky breath, his lips start to quiver when he begins to talk again.</p><p>"About four months ago, my former girlfriend started to contact me again. She even came to my cram school to see me. I refused to talk to her again, but she didn't want to let me go. The next thing was she made a scene in public and made me look like a perpetrator. I was humiliated in front of people whom I didn't know, Hyung. I felt so miserable and needed someone to calm me down, no, I just needed your voice to keep me calm and feel secured. But I couldn't reach you. I tried many times to call you, even though my fingers were shaking like crazy because I was so scared and desperately needed you, but I couldn't call you. I didn't know what was happening that night or the morning after that made you so busy to the point where you ignored me. I cannot believe that I say this, but you don't care about me at all! I am sure that you received missed call notifications and my texts but you didn't have enough time or effort to call or text me back the next day."</p><p>Seokmin's story makes Wonwoo suddenly have an unexplainable urge to throw a tantrum. He feels that Seokmin is putting all the blame on him. He doesn't deserve to be blamed for all of this.</p><p>"Are you saying that you now are getting back together with your ex-girlfriend?" Wonwoo's voice is so cold and unemotional as if all of Seokmin's confession means nothing to him. It makes Seokmin wonder whether he is really talking with Wonwoo who now gets so nasty to him.</p><p>"No, but she wants me back."</p><p>"Good. Now you have someone who cares about you. Is that what you want? You want someone who stays beside you, takes care of you, and pays attention to you all the time, correct?"</p><p>Seokmin lets out a frustrated sigh. "That's not the point of why I told you this story, Hyung."</p><p>Wonwoo raises from the bed. He stands, body leaning on the desk.</p><p>"Can I be honest with you? I am trying not to sound like a jerk but I think you are a very needy person. You constantly sent me messages and requested phone calls even though you knew that I had tons of things to do. You constantly needed me to always cheer you up from simple things that made you down, like not getting good mock exam results. What the hell Seokmin? If you think that the results are bad, all you have to do is to study harder. It is simple as that. But instead, you spent your time whining about your exam results instead of studying."</p><p>“Please stop saying those things. You are hurting me,” Seokmin stares at him, incredulous. His eyes are already watery from holding back his tears.</p><p>"And about your ex-girlfriend," Wonwoo continues, "I agree that she's the perpetrator and you're the victim, but can you for <em>once </em>stand up on your own? Can you just say <em>no </em>to her? Can you just leave her? I sincerely care about you, Seokmin, but I am tired of babysitting you. I don’t have time to hear your complaints. I have a life too, and it's not all about you. Stop making everything about you."</p><p>"It's not that simple, Hyung."</p><p>"No, actually it's very simple. The problem lies with you, Seokmin. You're so pathetic."</p><p>Seokmin takes a deep breath. One big, hot tear spills from his eye, slowly runs down his cheek, and splatters on his T-shirt. Once that the first tear breaks free, the rest follows in an unbothered stream. For a moment, they stay that way: Seokmin is crying and Wonwoo is just watching.</p><p>Seokmin finally stops weeping. His eyes are red, cheeks are wet, lips tremble.</p><p>“Are you seeing someone else?”</p><p>This time, Wonwoo is the one who is silent. Seokmin waits. He thinks that Wonwoo is trying so hard to formulate reasons, excuses, <em>lies </em>to him.</p><p>“I am sorry. I don't think our relationship works out," Wonwoo says in a voice drained of feeling.</p><p>Wonwoo’s words leave a pang in Seokmin’s chest. It is so painful, yet deep down he already knows that Wonwoo doesn’t love him anymore. He might fall in love with someone else at the university. Someone who accompanies him studying at libraries, eats with him at dinners, cuddles him at nights of sleep; someone available who is able to pamper him with affection and presence, something that Seokmin cannot do.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Seokmin finally says after a long pause. “I understand.”</p><p>“Seokmin-“</p><p>“If I am such a bothersome to you, then I won’t bother you again and I hope you’ll do the same,” Seokmin says that with his low, strained voice. He then picks up his bag and jacket, opens the door, and leaves. He doesn’t even say goodbye. The truth is still too painful to bear. He still cannot wrap his head around that he has broken up with Wonwoo. He feels lost, confused, and abandoned.</p><p>His phone vibrates.</p><p>
  <em> Where are you? Let’s meet. </em>
</p><p>His ex-girlfriend sends a text to Seokmin.</p><p>Tonight is the last mock exam held at his cram school and he has to get the best result if he wants to gain his confidence back. However, if he has to be honest, he feels very tired and doesn’t care about making a good score on his exam anymore. He has been struggling with his own life after she reenters his life.</p><p>She has been very controlling to him, but perhaps it is what he needs. When Wonwoo is absent, he longs for human companionship in his life. When her former girlfriend appears, he begins to think that she is perhaps an embodiment of the human companionship that he is looking for. Perhaps it is for the best. Perhaps it is his destiny. Perhaps Wonwoo is too good for him.</p><p>
  <em> Let’s meet. I’ll pick you up. </em>
</p><p>Seokmin presses send.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Weeks after the breakup, Soonyoung calls him.</p><p>Wonwoo just finished his previous class and is heading to his Contemporary Political Economy class when he receives a phone call from his long-time friend. He already knows the reason why Soonyoung contacts him. He finally decides to answer the phone.</p><p>“You’re such a jerk,” is the first thing that Soonyoung says to Wonwoo. Soonyoung doesn’t sound malicious. His tone is more like a person who is deeply disappointed to the point where he feels Wonwoo is not worthy enough to receive his tantrum.</p><p>“I am sorry,” is all that Wonwoo can say.</p><p>“You promised me you won’t make Seokmin get hurt or cry.”</p><p>“I didn’t mean it.”</p><p>“<em> You didn’t mean it? </em>” Soonyoung raises his tone. He sounds bewildered and angry when he hears Wonwoo's remark. “Wonwoo, you said to him directly that he was needy, self-centered, and pathetic! How in the hell you told me that you didn’t mean to tell Seokmin all those horrible words?”</p><p>“I know,” Wonwoo sighs, “I got carried away. I didn’t mean all of those things.”</p><p>Soonyoung scoffs at Wonwoo’s weak defense. “Whatever. Now thanks to you, he is back with his evil girlfriend.”</p><p>Wonwoo finds a near stone bench and sits there. “How do you know about all this stuff?”</p><p>“I called him several days ago, telling him that I was on a summer vacation and asking him to have a meetup with him and you but he refused. He didn’t want to tell me about the breakup at first, but I pushed him to tell me about it and he finally spoke up. When I heard about what you did, I wanted to go to your dorm and punch your face.”</p><p>Wonwoo purses his lips. “You should have done that.”</p><p>“I will if I see your face again. But in the meantime, you should apologize to Seokmin.”</p><p>“I tried,” Wonwoo looks at students who walk hurriedly, perhaps in a hurry to attend their next class. He looks at his wristwatch and ignores the fact that he is already late for his class. “But I cannot contact him. I cannot call or text him anymore. He even doesn’t reply to my emails. He completely shuts me out.”</p><p>“I figured. If I were Seokmin, I would do the same.”</p><p>“Would you pass my apologies to Seokmin? I just want him to know that I am sorry.”</p><p>“I don’t know. I really hate you right now I cannot promise you that.”</p><p>Wonwoo doesn’t reply, his silence an affirmation. At the same time, though, he knows that sooner or later Soonyoung will stop getting mad at him and tells Seokmin that he is sorry.</p><p>“This new guy,” Soonyung starts to speak again after some time goes by. “Do you love him?”</p><p>Wonwoo bites his lip lightly and looks up. He closes his eyes for a moment to remember how his days go after starting a relationship with Mingyu. So far there are no bad memories. They visit each other’s room, go out to a cinema or a small French restaurant downtown, then give each other a goodbye kiss every time they part ways. However, he still feels something is missing. Yes, he is happy whenever he is with Mingyu, but the strange feeling that he cannot fathom makes him never feel genuinely happy.</p><p>“I do,” Wonwoo says although he hesitates.</p><p>“You didn't sound convincing to me,” Soonyoung says.</p><p>“We have just been dating, Soonyoung, give us a break.”</p><p>Soonyoung silences. He seems to want to say something, but he decides to just keep it in his head.</p><p>“If happiness is what you seek for, I hope you are happy now, Wonwoo. And I hope you don’t end up hurting the people you love like you hurt Seokmin.”</p><p>Wonwoo doesn’t know how to answer that. No words come to him. In Wonwoo’s mind, Soonyoung’s last sentence doesn’t sound like a good wish, but more like a warning as if he knows that Wonwoo, sooner or later, will hurt someone he holds dear. He is afraid that he will hurt Mingyu.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>One night, Wonwoo cannot sleep. He feels sleepy, but every time he tries to close his eyes, he can hear the sound of many people speaking gibberish loudly at him, making his head hurts. He perhaps has insomnia. He decides to take his jacket and gets out of his dorm room to downtown, catching some fresh air. It is already after midnight; most of the stores have closed already. The unfamiliar silence envelopes Wonwoo. He has been so busy interacting with people in the university and Mingyu’s friends he almost forgets how he likes to enjoy his solitude. Being alone, he is able to think about thoughts that he prefers to keep inside his head.</p><p>Wonwoo is thinking about Seokmin.</p><p>He remembers every word that Seokmin said to him that day, about him being so lonely and stressed out with national exam preparation and temporary separation from him. Wonwoo then recalls Seokmin’s former girlfriend, who suddenly approached Seokmin again, stalked him, and demanded him to be her boyfriend. Soonyoung told him that Seokmin decided to go back with her after their break up. Wonwoo thinks it’s because Seokmin was so confused and was still emotionally vulnerable from the abusive relationship.</p><p>Leaving an abuser is the most dangerous, most vulnerable time for a victim of abuse. Knowing the fact, Wonwoo should be there for him. He should be Seokmin’s anchor to support him and help him to move on from his past. But Wonwoo let Seokmin down. He hates himself for being so stupid, selfish, and immature.</p><p>The guilty feeling starts to eat him up, but he doesn’t want to tell Mingyu about the overwhelming feeling. He doesn’t want Mingyu to share his unpleasant feeling too. Mingyu only knows that he has parted ways with Seokmin and Wonwoo refuses to share the details. Mingyu doesn’t seem to mind because he doesn’t push Wonwoo to spill the details of it. Mingyu is so accommodating, gentle, and sweet, it makes Wonwoo feel more guilty for having such a perfect boyfriend.</p><p>After walking for some time, he decides to go to a 24-hour convenience store to buy something to eat, perhaps tasteless onigiri and a bottle of instant coffee and goes back to his dorm. He actually doesn't feel hungry right now, but he hasn't been eating since morning, so at least he has to eat or drink something, or else he will get sick. When he walks down the aisles to browse food and drinks he wants to buy, he stumbles upon a candy shelf. His eyes land on a pack of lime candies. Unconsciously, he grabs it, takes it to the cashier desk, and pays.</p><p>Wonwoo sits on an uncomfortable bench, staring at the pack of lime candy in his hands for a time. He remembers the time when he ate the candy while he was studying in his room, Seokmin was sitting by his side reading a magazine. Seokmin then asked him to feed him the candy and they ended up kissing. </p><p>He tears the package open, picks one lime candy, and puts it inside his mouth. The taste suddenly evokes so many feel-good memories of him and Seokmin: They rode tandem on a bicycle together, they ate watermelon at a beach, they kissed and hugged each other tightly despite the warm temperature in Wonwoo’s room. Every sight, every feeling, every thought of them come together in his head like a boomerang. They were so in love.</p><p>A sudden overwhelming sadness hits Wonwoo hard and before he knows it, he breaks down and cries.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>It is storming outside. The water pours heavily and strikes the window. The room is swathed in darkness.</p><p>Wonwoo and Mingyu are in Mingyu's room. They lay on the bed, facing each other with their bodies intertwined. Mingyu looks at him carefully while slowly, gently, stroking Wonwoo’s hair.</p><p>“Do you have something to talk about?” Mingyu asks.</p><p>Wonwoo doesn’t know how to start. Mingyu looks subdued and apathetic. Wonwoo thinks Mingyu perhaps knows something is not right between them long before this day. Mingyu must notice how often he spaced out during dinners, or how he frequently asked Mingyu to not meet him for several days. Mingyu never asked him the reason behind his behavior, perhaps because he is not ready to hear the ugly truth from Wonwoo’s mouth. However, he knows there will be time for him to learn about it and he has to face it sooner or later.</p><p>Mingyu stops brushing his hair. He then holds Wonwoo in his arms. His nose is resting on Wonwoo's head.</p><p>“Whenever we are together, it feels like you are somewhere else. There is something else on your mind that makes me never truly reach you. I don’t know if it’s just me who senses it, but I hope you can tell me honestly, truthfully, about what’s on your mind.”</p><p>Wonwoo pushes his body and Mingyu releases the hug.</p><p>“Can I be candid to you?” Wonwoo asks.</p><p>Mingyu nods. “I want to know what you’re thinking so please say what’s on your mind.”</p><p>Wonwoo leans in and gives Mingyu an apologetic kiss.</p><p>“I am very fond of you and I really want to love you, Mingyu. But turns out I can’t genuinely love you.”</p><p>Mingyu maintains his gaze on Wonwoo’s eyes. He doesn't look shocked.</p><p>“Are you saying that you never loved me from the beginning?”</p><p>“That’s right. At first, I didn’t know why I couldn't really open my heart to you, no matter hard I tried, but finally I reached the conclusion that I took an interest in you because I just needed someone’s attention to feeding my fragile ego. I don’t want to do that to you. I don’t want you to waste your time on me.”</p><p>Mingyu listens to every word, every syllable, every sentence that comes out of Wonwoo’s mouth. He never feels relieved and sad at the same time. A single, silent drop of tear escapes from his eye between his bitter smile. </p><p>“I once loved you, Wonwoo,” Mingyu says that with such finality.</p><p>They hug and kiss each other's lips for the last time.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, it's me again. Have you gotten bored of me yet?</p><p>I have to apologize beforehand for abruptly adding one more chapter, so this story is set to end on chapter 11, not chapter 10. I decided to split the ending into two chapters to make it more enjoyable to read.</p><p>I just finished my work tasks today and I felt like crap. Hopefully, my mood didn't affect my writing 🤞</p><p>Anyway, enough with the rambling! I hope you liked this chapter!</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their eyes meet for a moment before Seokmin lowers his gaze.</p><p>Wonwoo sees the woman continue scolding Seokmin because for a moment he ignores her. When the woman is ready to hit Seokmin’s face for the second time, Wonwoo catches the woman’s wrist before her palm reaches Seokmin’s face again.</p><p>The woman is surprised to see an unknown man from nowhere come to defend Seokmin. Seokmin watches all of it with his own eyes, taken aback.</p><p>“Leave him alone,” is what Wonwoo says sternly to the woman.</p><p>“Who are you?” the woman raises her voice. </p><p>Wonwoo doesn’t reply. Instead, he looks at Seokmin while checking on him. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Seokmin is lost for words for a moment, trying his best to absorb the situation he is in right now. Just a couple of minutes ago, he was being scolded in the middle of a busy afternoon on the street, just because he made a small mistake when ordering her a coffee. He has been used to the humiliation and he thought things would end quickly if he admitted his wrongdoings and apologized. However, this painful routine abruptly changed when Wonwoo was suddenly standing in front of him and defended him.</p><p>“Seokmin. Are you okay?” Wonwoo asks again with a gentler tone.</p><p>“I’m okay,” Seokmin finally replies while giving Wonwoo a short nod.</p><p>Wonwoo takes Seokmin’s right hand, attempting to take him away. When Wonwoo holds his hand, he can feel a hard, cold metal press against his palm. He looks at it and finds a wedding ring on Seokmin’s fourth finger. Wonwoo looks up at Seokmin; his face is a mix of surprise, shame, and defeat.</p><p>“Where are you taking my husband?” she makes an attempt to reach Seokmin, but before she does that, Wonwoo already blocks her from Seokmin with his body. She keeps shouting at Seokmin while ordering him to come back with her or else she will hit him again. </p><p>Dozens of passersby only stare at them, but when she scolds and screams, more people on the street are starting to stop to watch the scene. Before they misunderstand the situation, Wonwoo quickly takes out his phone from his pants pocket.</p><p>“Stop! I am calling the police!” Wonwoo shouts at the woman. She looks afraid after Wonwoo threatens her. Perhaps it is the first time that someone stops and helps Seokmin because she looks unprepared and doesn’t know what to do with Wonwoo’s threat. She looks at Seokmin, trying her best to put a smile.</p><p>“Seokmin, come here. I love you, let’s go home,” she says, this time she pleads and she lowers her voice, trying to make her order sounds as unthreatening as possible.</p><p>Seokmin looks hesitant. He has been in this situation many times before when he has a chance to turn his back on her and never return, but he always gives in, reminding himself that being abused by her is better than being alone. Just when he has those thoughts circulating in his mind, Wonwoo gently squeezes his hands. Seokmin looks at Wonwoo’s eyes and finds familiar gentleness and comfort there.</p><p>“No,” Seokmin finally says in a small, but firm tone.</p><p>“What?” She looks so surprised to know Seokmin rejects her order.</p><p>“I said no,” Seokmin says it again, this time he looks right at her eyes.</p><p>"But Seokmin, you love me. I am sorry. I love you. Please give me another chance," she begs.</p><p>Seokmin shakes his head. "I have given you so many chances. I am sorry, but I don't want to go back to you anymore."</p><p>As she hears Seokmin, her fists clench. A look of great bitterness sweeps across her face. Before Wonwoo knows it, she forcefully grabs Seokmin's hair with her fist. She starts yelling, blaming Seokmin for being cruel and unfaithful. That's when Wonwoo can't stand the sight anymore. </p><p>With all strength he has, he pushes the woman's body from Seokmin and slaps her cheek very hard until her body drops to the sidewalk. All people there are now staring at him, sending him a disdain look for hitting a woman in a public, but he doesn’t care about such a thing anymore. When the woman glares at Wonwoo, he slaps the woman’s cheek again mercilessly, leaving people surrounding them to gasp in surprise.</p><p>Before she makes another attempt to make Seokmin stay with her, Wonwoo takes Seokmin’s hand and takes him away with him out of the crowd. Seokmin is baffled, but he doesn’t refuse when Wonwoo grasps his hand and takes him away from all of the scenes behind him. They run for a moment before finally reaching a quiet park. Both are catching their breath and sweating.</p><p>“Do you want to wash your face?” Wonwoo says, breaking the silence between them.</p><p>“Uh… yes… of course,” Seokmin seems bewildered.</p><p>"The tap water is over there," Wonwoo points at the nearest tap water at a park with his hand.</p><p>"Oh… okay."</p><p>They are silent again.</p><p>"Wonwoo-Hyung, I am sorry but can you release my hand?"</p><p>Wonwoo just realized that he is still holding Seokmin's hand. He quickly releases the grip, embarrassed.</p><p>"Sorry," Wonwoo says, voice so low, almost whispering.</p><p>"It's okay," Seokmin smiles politely and goes to the nearest tap water to wash his face and shirt from the coffee stain. After he finishes, Seokmin quietly sits at a bench park under a zelkova tree beside Wonwoo who is still catching his breath.</p><p>The summer light filtering through the branches dances over Seokmin's wet face and hair. Wonwoo looks at Seokmin's face more thoroughly and realizes that Seokmin looks different. Seokmin now becomes a lot more mature and beautiful than the last time Wonwoo remembers as if he is a fine wine that gets better with age. He then wonders whether he has changed as much as Seokmin does.</p><p>“How are you doing, Seokmin?” Wonwoo nearly slaps himself for asking such a basic, clueless question to Seokmin. However, he thinks it’s normal to act stupid and awkward in front of Seokmin since they haven’t been in contact for almost eight years.</p><p>Seokmin smiles faintly. “I’m still the same, Hyung. I think that I am still the pathetic, helpless man you once know.”</p><p>“Do you think so?” Wonwoo raises his head and meets Seokmin’s gaze, “I think you now have become braver.”</p><p>“How so?” Seokmin asks curiously.</p><p>“You said 'no' when she asked you to come home with her."</p><p>“It's because you were there with me. If you weren’t there, I might go back to her, as always.”</p><p>"Actually, there is one more thing that makes me think you have become braver," Wonwoo lets out a playful smile.</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>“You didn’t stop me slapping your wife in public. Twice.”</p><p>“Oh,” Seokmin’s face and ears become red. He lets out a stifled grin. “I just thought that she deserved that.”</p><p>Wonwoo chuckles while Seokmin titters.</p><p>"But still, I should have divorced her a long time ago, but I was too coward to do that."</p><p>“But the good thing is you are finally able to stand up against her,” Wonwoo sits closer to Seokmin. “How long have you been married?”</p><p>“Two years,” Seokmin mumbles. He gazes at his wedding ring for a while. It is a classic rose gold-tone wedding band ring. Wonwoo wonders what Seokmin is thinking while looking into it, perhaps he tries to recollect good memories of them together as a husband and a wife. His eyes look sad. “We haven’t had kids yet.”</p><p>Wonwoo can feel his heart aching when he imagines how patient Seokmin was for being able to stay with her for that long. However, he feels relieved that Seokmin hasn’t had children; it makes their marriage less complicated.</p><p>“Oh god, she will sue me,” Seokmin sighs. “She will sue me for negligence, or whatever reasons she can think of to put me in jail.” </p><p>“Then we sue back,” Wonwoo says in confidence.</p><p>“How? We know that police are always on the women’s side in this kind of case.”</p><p>“Not every police is not aware of domestic violence against men. Also, I can help you to find a good lawyer. I know a good lawyer who can help you.”</p><p>Seokmin is surprised by Wonwoo’s help. "No, I don't want to trouble you anymore, Hyung."</p><p>"Why not? I can and am willing to help you."</p><p>Seokmin clamps his mouth shut. He looks down at the ground beneath his feet. Wonwoo can tell that all kinds of thoughts are whirling around in his head, so rather than intrude on them he keeps silent.</p><p>Crying is the last thing that Seokmin wants to do. However, the lump in his throat is overwhelming. He doesn't quite understand his feelings right now. He doesn't expect to meet Wonwoo again after everything that happened between them.</p><p>Eight years have passed, yet he is still the same troubled, pathetic man who cannot stand up for himself. He feels ashamed and disappointed in himself because Wonwoo still sees him in that pitiful state, but deep down he is happy to meet Wonwoo again. He is still a gentle, caring person that Seokmin once knew. He doesn't know how to express all of the mixed emotions besides crying.</p><p>Seokmin tries to focus on his breathing but to no avail. He then looks upward to prevent crying, but he fails miserably. Tears burst forth like a river, spilling down Seokmin’s face. Wonwoo instinctively takes Seokmin in his arms.</p><p>“I feel so stupid,” Seokmin wipes his frustrated tears with his hands. “Why did I want to stay with a woman who treats me like that? Don’t I deserve to be happy?”</p><p>Wonwoo looks at Seokmin thoroughly. Seokmin’s tears glisten like pearls.</p><p>“Don’t say that you don’t deserve to be happy.”</p><p>Hearing it, Seokmin tries to hold back his tears. Those beautiful lips that Wonwoo once kissed are trembling from previously crying uncontrollably.</p><p>Wonwoo wipes the last drops of tears left on Seokmin’s cheek with his thumbs. Seokmin doesn’t resist. He closes his eyes, feeling peaceful and secured with Wonwoo’s touch that he secretly misses.</p><p>“You are a survivor, Seokmin. After this, I guarantee your life will get better. Sure, you sometimes might encounter unfortunate events that make you think that life is so shallow and dull, but then in a matter of time, you will find friends who care about you or someone special who genuinely loves and cherishes you. Soon, you will begin to think that life is so beautiful and worth living. You then start to forget about all of your bad memories because your days will be filled with happiness and love.”</p><p>Years ago, he hoped to meet Seokmin again to apologize. He even scribbled down what he wanted to say and memorized it. However, now when he has a chance, every word that he previously replayed in his head every morning somehow evaporates. Wonwoo takes a deep breath and says things that come out of his head.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Seokmin, for what I did or said to you that hurt your feelings. I should be the one whom you could ask for support, but I was selfish and ended up leaving you alone. I wish I could take back what I said and did to you and it hurts so much to know that I can’t. All I can think of to fix this is to help you to get through this problem. Finding you a good lawyer is the smallest thing that I can do for you, so please don’t reject my offer or I will agonize over this guilty feeling forever. Please, if you need me, use me. Don't be so rigid.”</p><p>Seokmin has stopped crying. He looks calmer now after hearing Wonwoo’s apology. He then holds both of Wonwoo’s hands and leans closer.</p><p>“Can I hug you, Hyung? I feel comfortable when I hug you.”</p><p>It’s the same request, the same imploring look from Seokmin when he asked for a hug when they were in high school. Wonwoo leans over and embraces Seokmin, pulling him as tightly as he can. Seokmin buries his head into Wonwoo’s shoulder, hugging him back. Seokmin places a hand on the back of Wonwoo’s head and strokes his hair.</p><p>“I want you to know that I have forgiven you a long time ago,” Seokmin whispers.</p><p>Seokmin’s forgiveness is so exhilarating. His generosity is like flowers after desert rains. It brings Wonwoo blossoming happiness that he never knew is possible after what he had done to Seokmin.</p><p>Wonwoo takes Seokmin’s arms, holds them gently, and kisses his lips. They kiss for a time before Seokmin pulls away.</p><p>“You are a very special person to me,” Seokmin says, “but I need time to be emotionally prepared to love you again. It’s not that I hate you or I still hold a grudge against you, but after what I have been through, I have not ready yet to have a romantic feeling with anyone. I need time.”</p><p>Wonwoo caresses Seokmin’s cheek. Seokmin holds Wonwoo's hand and smiles. His eyes remind Wonwoo of a small, cozy beach house with a secluded location by the sea. </p><p>“Will you wait for me, Hyung?”</p><p>Seokmin should not give him that question, Wonwoo thinks, because it is an unquestionable question. Wonwoo wants to be with Seokmin forever; he will wait for ten years, twenty years, for Seokmin to accept his heart again.</p><p>“Of course I will wait for you. You need to get all of these problems straightened out, particularly divorcing your evil wife.”</p><p>Seokmin titters. “That one <em> will </em>definitely take forever.”</p><p>Seokmin’s face looks brighter, a big smile on his face. Wonwoo cards Seokmin’s black hair and kisses his forehead softly and gently, a kind of kiss that is not meant to lead beyond the pure intention of preserving the moment.</p><p>Summer has become Wonwoo’s favorite season.</p><p>He likes the way the summer breeze combs his hair, the touch of warm sunlight on his skin that makes his mood better, and ice cream in any flavor that always tastes better in his mouth.</p><p>This summer, he can feel all of the feel-good sensations with Seokmin. They will feel how the summer breeze combs their hair, how the warm sunlight on their skin makes their mood better, and how an ice cream in any flavor tastes better in their mouths.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you to everyone who has read and liked this story! At first, I wrote this fic just for fun, but I didn't expect such warm responses from you 🥰<br/>If you'd like to give me your thoughts, I would be very happy! I'll think of them as a farewell gift from you :)</p><p>Ps. I am going to miss writing SeokWoo, they're such cute babies :(</p>
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